What driving strangers taught me about grace

I’ve been driving for a medical transport company for a few weeks now – it’s basically a service that takes people to their doctor’s appointments who would otherwise have no way of getting there.  And boy, is it stretching me.  I realized a few days ago, that I had begun developing a sense of bitterness against the people that I was driving.  Never mind the fact that I was being paid to drive them; that if they weren’t around I wouldn’t have a job.  Never mind the fact that my intense distaste for driving wasn’t their fault; in fact, had nothing to do with them.  I still found myself resenting their presence, counting down the minutes until I could drop them off and crank up the radio again.

But then one day, I picked up a man and his wife to take him home.  And I noticed that his neck was bleeding – presumably from some blood that was drawn or something of the sort.  And that’s when it really dawned on me some of what these people were going through.  I finally saw them not just as warm bodies to be transported from point A to point B, but as people.  People with real hopes and dreams and loved ones, who were going through really hard times.  Cancer, diabetes, heart failure, limb amputations, blindness…the people that I drive are going through some of the toughest things imaginable.  And all I could think about was getting them to their appointments as quickly as possible.

But seeing that man’s bleeding neck was like finally waking up after being doused with cold water.  I thought about how much I dread going to the doctor, even for simple, routine check ups.  And then I thought about how much more these people must dread going; because their visits are never routine.  They are frequent, painful, scary, and often life-threatening.  There is nothing simple or routine about going to the doctor for these people.

Kinda paints them in a whole new light, doesn’t it?  In an instant, my passengers went from nuisances to names, from problems to people.  It’s astonishing how my perception of them changed when I was able to see things from their perspective.  But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that that’s not the only situation in which I judge people without knowing the whole situation.  I do it a lot…probably every day.  We all do.  And that, I have no doubt, breaks the Lord’s heart every time we do it.  He wants us to love on others, to show them His gospel and teach them His good news, pure and simple.  Judgment is reserved for him alone. 

So the next time you find yourself frustrated with someone, take a step back and try to look at things from a different perspective.  From theirs, perhaps.  Or even better, from the Lord’s.  I think that you will find that things look a whole lot different when you are not focused on your own little world. 

The eye of the hurricane

I had a strange dream last night.  The fact that I had a dream in the first place is in itself a bit off – I hardly ever dream – but the actual content of it was even more bizarre.  I dreamt that I was with my 80+ year-old grandmother (don’t ask me why), and we got hit by a hurricane.  Three hurricanes actually, right in a row; each one more devastating than the last.  Never mind the fact that I live in a landlocked area that hasn’t ever been hit by even one hurricane in my entire lifetime; in my dream it made perfect sense. 

But anyway, I digress.  The first two hurricanes that came through, I was panicked and frantic, trying to figure out how to survive the catastrophe.  But when the third hurricane hit, I followed a different tactic.  I prayed the entire time, asking God to get me through it.  And it’s strange, because it all happened within a dream, but I remember feeling such a peace, knowing that God was there and looking out for me.  It was as if I had found the eye of the hurricane, that tiny circle of solace in the middle of the storm.  

After I woke up, I did some pondering and praying about that night.  I dream so rarely, that whenever I do I generally figure that there’s something that God wants to teach me, and I had better pay attention.  And I realized that, while God promises to always be with us, He has never promised that things will be easy.  Sometimes, in fact, He may even allow you to be brought to a place of desperation.  But He does this not to harm you, but because He loves you and wants you to trust in and depend on Him more fully.  Even if that means allowing you to go through terrible storms.  Don't assume you know the whole picture.  Regardless of how hopeless things may seem at the time, in the end, God WILL protect you and see you through.  

Job 1:21-22
“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.”  In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.

Who are you to say no?

Lately, when people have asked me how I'm doing, I haven't really known what to say to them.  On the one hand, I'm not super stressed or overwhelmed with life; I actually feel on top of things for the first time this whole semester.  

But on the other hand, I'm just so weary.  It's almost as if I don't feel worthy to accept the rest that God has freely given me.  Like I feel guilt if everything in my life is going well, after such a long string of bad.  And so, when people ask me how I'm doing, I've caught myself on more than one occasion feeling the need to search for (or at least elaborate on) the bad stuff.  

Perhaps that why Hebrews 4 hit me so hard today.  Verse 1 says, "therefore, since the promise of entering His rest still stand, let us becareful that none of you be found to have fallen short of it."  

All this time, I had been thinking, "who am I to live in God's rest?"  Like I somehow didn't deserve to rest in Him.  But really...who am I not to?  He has given me, He has given all of us, rest as a gift; He has commanded that we walk in it.  Resting is not just a matter of convenience or comfort - it's a commandment.  Refusing to do so is just as disobedient as thievery or deceitfulness.  Woah.  Kinda puts resting into a whole new perspective, doesn't it?  

So the next time you start to think that you're not worthy of the gifts that God has given you - or even that you simply don't have time to rest - just stop right there.  If God has given it to you, if He has commanded that you rest...then who are you to say otherwise?  He did not command us to observe the Sabbath for His benefit, but for ours.  So rather than focusing on reasons why you shouldn't or can't accept God's goodness, try just focusing on and meditating in his goodness, His goodness that gives sorely needed rest to weary souls.  

Hebrews 4:1-11

Therefore, since the promise of entering his rest still stands, let us be careful that none of you be found to have fallen short of it. 2 For we also have had the good news proclaimed to us, just as they did; but the message they heard was of no value to them, because they did not share the faith of those who obeyed. 3 Now we who have believed enter that rest, just as God has said, “So I declared on oath in my anger, ‘They shall never enter my rest.’” And yet his works have been finished since the creation of the world. 4 For somewhere he has spoken about the seventh day in these words: “On the seventh day God rested from all his works.” 5 And again in the passage above he says, “They shall never enter my rest.” 6 Therefore since it still remains for some to enter that rest, and since those who formerly had the good news proclaimed to them did not go in because of their disobedience, 7 God again set a certain day, calling it “Today.” This he did when a long time later he spoke through David, as in the passage already quoted: “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts.” 8 For if Joshua had given them rest, God would not have spoken later about another day. 9 There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; 10 for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his. 11 Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will perish by following their example of disobedience.

The ashes remain

 I went to an Ash Wednesday service at my church recently.  It was a very solemn, spiritual time – there were candle, and scripture readings, and communion, and overall a general feeling of holiness that permeated the entire service. 

But the most striking part of the evening didn’t hit me until after I had left the building and returned home.  In Biblical times, Ash Wednesday was so named because it was literally a day when the Israelites put ashes on their heads, to symbolize mourning and repentance.  It was  a day that symbolized the beginning of Lent, a period of 40 days that was meant for God’s people to commune with Him and grow closer to Him.  To remind us of this, my church had put out a literal bowl of ashes, to be used for people who were seeking the same closeness to God that His people experienced in Bible times. 

So I had a friend rub ashes on my forehead.  I kept them on me the entire evening, but when I returned home I naturally wanted to wash them off.  And that is where the most memorable part of the evening lies for me.  Those ashes…would not wash off.  I scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed – I must have scrubbed for nearly 20 minutes, until my whole forehead was red and irritated.  But those ashes would not be removed.  It took several days’ worth of scrubbing before I could fully remove all of their traces from my face.

I wonder if that can, in some way, be looked at as a symbol of how God wants to be in our lives, what He wants to teach us throughout the period of Lent and beyond.  He doesn’t want His presence to be something that we can wash off at a moment’s notice.  He doesn’t want to simply be like an article of clothing or accessory, easily removable and interchangeable with something else.  He wants to stay with us.  Just as the ashes stayed with me, He wants to be with us day in and day out.  When we wake up, when we lie down, and every moment in between…He wants to be there.  During this period of Lent, don’t settle for God the accessory.  Make him an integral part of your life.  Don’t simply rub Him on superficially, to be washed away whenever you feel like it.

Micah 6:6-8

With what shall I come before the Lord and bow down before the exalted God? Shall I come before him with burnt offerings, with calves a year old? 7 Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams, with ten thousand rivers of olive oil? Shall I offer my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul? 8 He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.     

Valentine's Day

When you hear the term "Valentine's day," what do you think?  Do you think of giggly girls, wondering what their boyfriends are going to do for them?  Do you think of paranoid boys, who are worried about screwing everything up?  Do you think of singles, who wax and wane about "single's awareness day," sadly wondering when the day will come that they get to celebrate with someone, languishing in a sea of singleness and self-pity?  Do you think of chocolate, and flowers, red hearts and pink balloons and overpriced stuffed animals?

I must confess, that I myself find Valentine's Day highly over-commercialized.  While chocolate or flowers (or even something more creative!) are a nice sentiment, they lose a lot of their specialness when the only reason they’ve been given is because the mass media says that it’s the “thing to do.”  If you have to be told on a specific day in February by a trite Hallmark card and overstuffed teddy bear that someone loves you, there is, in my opinion, something not quite right about your relationship in the first place. 

It’s interesting, however, how the connotation changes when you add a “saint” on the beginning of the holiday.  There’s a big difference between “Valentine’s day” and “Saint Valentine’s day.”  Saint Valentine, the person that the holiday was named after, was a real person.  While not much is definitively known about his life, it's amazing to me how my perspective changes when I think of "Valentine" as a living, breathing person, rather than an over-commercialized holiday.  

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for showing affection to people you love.  But it just seems to me that people have forgotten that being in a relationship is not the summation of life.  Being "in love" is not the only goal for people to strive for.  And romantic love is not the only type of love.  There are friends, family, classmates, colleagues, lonely people on the street or in the elevator, who are all looking for love.  

So the next year, when Valentine’s day rolls around, take the time to show love to someone you don't usually pay attention to on Valentine's Day.  Make an effort to call your family, or to send a card to your friend, or whatever springs to mind...be creative about it!  At the very least, do something to make a stranger smile.  Oh yeah…and then surprise your sweetheart and celebrate Valentine’s Day on some random day in the middle of April :).  

Where truth begins

In America, the South has a bit of a reputation.  There are actually many things associated with the South - some good, some bad - but what I am specifically referring to is the concept of "Southern hospitality" and politeness.  Of course there is a point where this is a wonderful thing - a large portion of southerners are legitimately kind and friendly and polite and hospitable.  But there is another side to Southern hospitality.  Many people in the South have a tendency to feign politeness to someone's face, and then turn around and bad-mouth them behind their back.   

I, however, although I was raised in the South, was not born there, and do not consider myself a southerner, and thus have always found this concept a bit difficult to grasp.  I've never understood the unwillingness to be honest with people.  Personally, I would much rather know someone dislikes me, than to think we're on good terms and then find out later that they've been gossiping about me without my knowledge.  My preferences in this matter, however, have often gotten me into trouble, and so it's a delicate balance that I am constantly trying to strike between honesty and tact, bluntness and prudence.  

But honesty with others does not begin with them.  Truth is not an outward expression of its own right. Honesty begins with yourself.  Truth with others is an outward expression of an inner condition.  Speaking the truth in love begins with speaking the truth to yourself.  So I challenge you to ask yourself....in what areas of your life might you be lying to yourself?  It doesn't have to be a glaring inconsistency.  It could be something seemingly small and insignificant.  But God doesn't want any strongholds in our lives - even the small and insignificant ones.  Let Him illuminate the dark places; let Him speak truth into your life, so that you in turn can go and speak it to others.  

Acts 5:1-10

Now a man named Ananias, together with his wife Sapphira, also sold a piece of property. 2 With his wife’s full knowledge he kept back part of the money for himself, but brought the rest and put it at the apostles’ feet. 3 Then Peter said, “Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit and have kept for yourself some of the money you received for the land? 4 Didn’t it belong to you before it was sold? And after it was sold, wasn’t the money at your disposal? What made you think of doing such a thing? You have not lied just to human beings but to God.” 5 When Ananias heard this, he fell down and died. And great fear seized all who heard what had happened. 6 Then some young men came forward, wrapped up his body, and carried him out and buried him. 7 About three hours later his wife came in, not knowing what had happened. 8 Peter asked her, “Tell me, is this the price you and Ananias got for the land?” “Yes,” she said, “that is the price.” 9 Peter said to her, “How could you conspire to test the Spirit of the Lord? Listen! The feet of the men who buried your husband are at the door, and they will carry you out also.” 10 At that moment she fell down at his feet and died. Then the young men came in and, finding her dead, carried her out and buried her beside her husband.

Physical tongues and spiritual tongues

There's this concept in "Christian-ese" called love languages.  It was originally coined by a man named Gary Chapman, who wrote a book called "The Five Love Languages."  He says that everyone speaks at least 1 of 5 love languages - words of encouragement, acts of service, quality time, physical touch, and gifts.  Many people speak more than one language, but almost everyone has a dominant one, a language that speaks to them more than the others do.

My love language is, and always has been, gift-giving.  It's how I both give and receive affection.  I love spending on people that I care about, investing creativity and money and time to give them something that speaks to them.  The problem is, no one in my life is a gift-giver.  It was something I really struggled with as a little girl - I constantly felt unloved, because no one in my life knew how to speak my language, nor I theirs.  As time went on, I learned to be more understanding, and to appreciate the efforts that people do make, however small they may be.  But there's always a bit of a hole, a noticeable gap, a tangible emptiness where I want to be spoken to in my own language, and frequently am not.

I was reading in Acts today about the day of Pentecost, how God breathed into His people and allowed them to start speaking in other tongues.  I know that this passage is talking about the spiritual gift of speaking in tongues, of actually speaking literal languages that you have never learned before to use them to minister to others.  But I wonder if it can't be used in reference to other types of languages, as well.  "Love languages," for example.

The Bible says that the people were amazed and in awe when they heard the apostles speaking to them in their own tongues.  In my own small way, I can relate to what they were feeling.  I imagine how I would feel if someone in my life all of a sudden started speaking my love language to me, when they had never been able to do so in the past.  I picture my shock, my delight, my excitement.  It's nothing short of miraculous to have something like that happen, and when it does, it blesses the recipient like few things can.

When the Holy Spirit visits us, it's not just spiritual tongues that He gives us.  God wants us to be able to minister to people's physical needs as well as their spiritual ones.  I can't tell you how many times over the past few weeks I've followed the Holy Spirit's prompting and done something for someone that I thought fairly small and insignificant, and it turned out to be exactly what they needed.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not discounting spiritual gifts and prayer.  But sometimes, we really just need a word of encouragement, a meal and a sympathetic ear, or a good old-fashioned hug.  Don't neglect the physical for the spiritual.  Be sensitive to the Holy Spirit, and let Him teach you how to speak whatever language is needed.

Acts 2:1-11

When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. 2 Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. 3 They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. 4 All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them. 5 Now there were staying in Jerusalem God-fearing Jews from every nation under heaven. 6 When they heard this sound, a crowd came together in bewilderment, because each one heard their own language being spoken. 7 Utterly amazed, they asked: “Aren’t all these who are speaking Galileans? 8 Then how is it that each of us hears them in our native language? 9 Parthians, Medes and Elamites; residents of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, 10 Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya near Cyrene; visitors from Rome 11 (both Jews and converts to Judaism); Cretans and Arabs—we hear them declaring the wonders of God in our own tongues!”