Today has been such a whirlwind of emotion. I don't quite know how to start this blog. I found out today that I got a Fulbright Scholarship, which pays for a year of teaching English abroad. My Fulbright is in - you ready? - South Korea. My emotions have been doing somersaults ever since I opened the letter. Deep down, I was secretly hoping that I wouldn't get it - I love the GA Tech program, I love Atlanta, I love the dance scene in Atlanta, and I was really looking forward to starting to settle down a little bit. I'm so tired of living out of suitcases and boxes. Not only does a Fulbright extend the time I have to wait until I can settle down; but the thought of living for a year in South Korea, teaching English in a country where I do not speak a single word of their language - nor any related language, for that matter - terrifies me. I'm flat out petrified.
Before I opened that letter, I would have said that I had been praying that God would open this door if He wanted me to take it, and so either way I would just leave it in His hands. But now that I've gotten it, I'm starting to second-guess myself...did I really pray hard enough? Maybe I'm not really meant to go. Why would God send me somewhere that I don't understand the language, the culture, or anything else? Why should I willingly do something so daggone hard??
I've spoken with several people very close to me since I opened that letter. The first thing my dad said was, "Well this thing's way bigger than you are...it sure sounds like a God thing to me." Both my brother and my best friend reminded me that I've been scared about pretty much every other opportunity I've had in my life - and they've all been wonderful. I argued with them that I've never been quite so terrified as I am now...and I've always spoken the language of the country I went to! But really, when it gets down to it, isn't that really a bit of a nuance? The crux of the matter is that God loves me, and directs my path, and will look out for me, no matter what situation He throws me in.
It's days like today that I am so grateful for verses like John 14:27, which says, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." Second Thessalonians 3:16 - "Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you." Colossians 3:15 - "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." Philippians 4:7 - "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Numbers 6:25-26 - "The LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace."
God knows the plans He has for my life. He has prospered me, He has given me a hope and a future. As scary as life is right now, I want to trust in Him. I want His peace. I want to rest in the shadow of His wings. God is good, and He loves me more than I will ever be able to comprehend. For now, amidst the craziness and insanity swirling all around me, that is enough. His love, His mercy and His peace is enough - enough to protect me and enough to sustain me. I pray that I will never forget that.
Before I opened that letter, I would have said that I had been praying that God would open this door if He wanted me to take it, and so either way I would just leave it in His hands. But now that I've gotten it, I'm starting to second-guess myself...did I really pray hard enough? Maybe I'm not really meant to go. Why would God send me somewhere that I don't understand the language, the culture, or anything else? Why should I willingly do something so daggone hard??
I've spoken with several people very close to me since I opened that letter. The first thing my dad said was, "Well this thing's way bigger than you are...it sure sounds like a God thing to me." Both my brother and my best friend reminded me that I've been scared about pretty much every other opportunity I've had in my life - and they've all been wonderful. I argued with them that I've never been quite so terrified as I am now...and I've always spoken the language of the country I went to! But really, when it gets down to it, isn't that really a bit of a nuance? The crux of the matter is that God loves me, and directs my path, and will look out for me, no matter what situation He throws me in.
It's days like today that I am so grateful for verses like John 14:27, which says, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." Second Thessalonians 3:16 - "Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you." Colossians 3:15 - "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." Philippians 4:7 - "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Numbers 6:25-26 - "The LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace."
God knows the plans He has for my life. He has prospered me, He has given me a hope and a future. As scary as life is right now, I want to trust in Him. I want His peace. I want to rest in the shadow of His wings. God is good, and He loves me more than I will ever be able to comprehend. For now, amidst the craziness and insanity swirling all around me, that is enough. His love, His mercy and His peace is enough - enough to protect me and enough to sustain me. I pray that I will never forget that.
I'm so proud of you! You are going to have a Fabulous time! Can't wait to see what God has in store for you! Love you. :)
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