I had a meltdown today. I have been trying so hard to assimilate into this strange new culture. But there is so much to understand - the clothes, the food, the greetings, the hierarchy, the school systems, the kids, the social values and norms....and most of all, in my situation, the language. I've never in my life tried so hard - or failed so spectacularly. I feel so helpless here. No matter how hard I try to understand, no matter how many flashcards I make or verb tenses I study, or even how accomodating the people around me are, I'm always struggling to catch up. I hear my name said so many times, but I never know what is being said; I miss jokes, don't understand instructions, misinterpret questions.... All my life I've felt capable of handling whatever was thrown at me. But this...this is an entirely different ballgame.
Today was worse than usual. For some reason, I simply could not understand even the simplest things that were said to me in Korean today. It was so frustrating. Add to that the fact today also happened to be the day that they asked me to address the entire teacher and administrative population of both the middle and high schools, and you can understand why I am one hurting puppy right now.
I opened up my Bible to Psalms tonight, looking for some comfort, and was greeted with Psalms 19. I love it so much. Sometimes words can just get in the way. Sometimes all we need to do to know that God is there is to look around. He is the biggest comfort that anyone could ask for...and He is understood by every tongue. There are no language barriers when it comes to the Lord. What a joy to know that I can always be confident of understanding Him, no matter how little else in my life makes sense.
Psalm 19:1-9
1 The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
2 Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they reveal knowledge.
3 They have no speech, they use no words;
no sound is heard from them.
4 Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun.
5 It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,
like a champion rejoicing to run his course.
6 It rises at one end of the heavens
and makes its circuit to the other;
nothing is deprived of its warmth.
7 The law of the LORD is perfect, the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
2 Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they reveal knowledge.
3 They have no speech, they use no words;
no sound is heard from them.
4 Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun.
5 It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,
like a champion rejoicing to run his course.
6 It rises at one end of the heavens
and makes its circuit to the other;
nothing is deprived of its warmth.
refreshing the soul.
The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.
8 The precepts of the LORD are right,
giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the LORD are radiant,
giving light to the eyes.
9 The fear of the LORD is pure,
enduring forever.
The decrees of the LORD are firm,
and all of them are righteous.
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