I found out today that the executive director of Fulbright had just called the chairman of the board of my school to put pressure on them to find a new homestay for me. I should be elated. Living in this home has been uncomfortable at best, and downright hostile at worst. But I'm not. I'm actually quite depressed. And I can't really seem to figure out why.
Perhaps it is because, as difficult as it is here, at least I know what to expect. Going to a completely new home, learning about a completely new family all over again....it sounds exhausting to me, and not something that I particularly want to deal with. Perhaps it is because I was hoping to be able to live with someone that I already know, but that does not seem to be a possibility. Perhaps it is because I still hoped, in my heart of hearts, that this situation could be resolved without me moving, and now that seems to definitively not be an option. Whatever the reason, I greeted the news of the imminent search for a new family with trepidation, not excitement.
I wonder if that's how Peter felt when Jesus told him to walk on the water. I'm sure that he looked at stepping out of the boat with more than a little trepidation, as well. Sometimes we look even at the things that we know will be good for us in the long run with suspicion and distrust - in fact, those are often the circumstances met with the most skepticism.
What Jesus asks of us is very simple, and yet simultaneously so difficult. He asks us to trust Him. He asks us to put our faith in Him and to step out of the boat, even when the waves are huge and the sea is roiling. Do you have the courage to believe in Him, to let Him do His stuff, even when your whole world seems to have been turned upside down?
25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.
27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
29 “Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”
Perhaps it is because, as difficult as it is here, at least I know what to expect. Going to a completely new home, learning about a completely new family all over again....it sounds exhausting to me, and not something that I particularly want to deal with. Perhaps it is because I was hoping to be able to live with someone that I already know, but that does not seem to be a possibility. Perhaps it is because I still hoped, in my heart of hearts, that this situation could be resolved without me moving, and now that seems to definitively not be an option. Whatever the reason, I greeted the news of the imminent search for a new family with trepidation, not excitement.
I wonder if that's how Peter felt when Jesus told him to walk on the water. I'm sure that he looked at stepping out of the boat with more than a little trepidation, as well. Sometimes we look even at the things that we know will be good for us in the long run with suspicion and distrust - in fact, those are often the circumstances met with the most skepticism.
What Jesus asks of us is very simple, and yet simultaneously so difficult. He asks us to trust Him. He asks us to put our faith in Him and to step out of the boat, even when the waves are huge and the sea is roiling. Do you have the courage to believe in Him, to let Him do His stuff, even when your whole world seems to have been turned upside down?
Matthew 14:22-33
22 Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. 23 After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, 24 and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it. 25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.
27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
29 “Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”
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