How we spend our days

"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives." ~Annie Dillard

This is an interesting thing to think about for me.  I don't know about you, but I don't often connect what I do in my day to day activities with the summation of my entire life.  It's just a day, it's just a few hours....what effect could it possibly have in the grand scheme of things?

But it has a huge effect.  A life-changing effect, in fact.  Because Annie Dillard is, in fact, right on the money.  What is our life, really, other than a summation of all of our days?  So how are you spending your life?  Are you spending it staring at a computer screen?  Chasing after meaningless relationships?  Unhappy and ineffective in your job?  Pushing your friends aside to achieve your dreams?  Drunk and wasted every weekend?  Doing anything that makes you feel good, regardless of the consequences to yourself or others?

Or are you spending it doing something of value?  Something that matters?  Something for His kingdom?

Ecclesiastes 11:7-12:1

⁷ Light is sweet,

   and it pleases the eyes to see the sun.

⁸ However many years anyone may live,

   let them enjoy them all.

But let them remember the days of darkness,

   for there will be many.

   Everything to come is meaningless.

 ⁹ You who are young, be happy while you are young,

   and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth.

Follow the ways of your heart

   and whatever your eyes see,

but know that for all these things

   God will bring you into judgment.

¹⁰ So then, banish anxiety from your heart

   and cast off the troubles of your body,

   for youth and vigor are meaningless.

¹ Remember your Creator

   in the days of your youth,

before the days of trouble come

   and the years approach when you will say,

   “I find no pleasure in them”— 

 

Life, not death

I read an article the other day about a Korean middle school girl who committed suicide because she didn't get a high enough score on her test.  Her parents had promised her a cell phone if she did well enough, but she did not meet their standards; in her suicide note, she requested that she be buried with a smart phone.  Of course, there is an obvious tangent that could be made about the issues with an educational system that drives children to kill themselves because their grades aren't high enough to get them a smart phone.  But this is not a political blog, so I will limit myself to the spiritual side.

It's interesting that Christianity is one of the only religions in the world that does not have specific stipulations for how one must bury their dead, so that their spirit will be at peace.  Of course there are cultural aspects that determine what is done, but the Bible itself is really quite silent on the topic. 

That's because the focus of Christianity is on life, not death.  Sure, death is a part of life - but it is not the end of life.  The Bible refers multiple times to death as "sleep" - and in the grand scheme of things, that's exactly what death is - simply falling asleep.  There is a whole 'nother world that exists, a whole 'nother life that happens, after one dies.  That's the real life that we were made to have. 

Of course there is also a real death, an eternal death for those who do not know Jesus.  But until you "fall asleep" in this world, there is always hope that you will come to know Him.  And if you already do know Him - what a comfort it is to be reminded that He is bigger than death.

John 11:1-45

 ¹ Now a man named Lazarus was sick. He was from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. ² (This Mary, whose brother Lazarus now lay sick, was the same one who poured perfume on the Lord and wiped his feet with her hair.) ³ So the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Lord, the one you love is sick.”
 ⁴ When he heard this, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” ⁵ Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. ⁶ So when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days, ⁷ and then he said to his disciples, “Let us go back to Judea.”
 ⁸ “But Rabbi,” they said, “a short while ago the Jews there tried to stone you, and yet you are going back?”
 ⁹ Jesus answered, “Are there not twelve hours of daylight? Anyone who walks in the daytime will not stumble, for they see by this world’s light. ¹⁰ It is when a person walks at night that they stumble, for they have no light.”
 ¹¹ After he had said this, he went on to tell them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up.”
 ¹² His disciples replied, “Lord, if he sleeps, he will get better.” ¹³ Jesus had been speaking of his death, but his disciples thought he meant natural sleep.
 ¹⁴ So then he told them plainly, “Lazarus is dead, ¹⁵ and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.”
 ¹⁶ Then Thomas (also known as Didymus) said to the rest of the disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.”

Jesus Comforts the Sisters of Lazarus

 ¹⁷ On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. ¹⁸ Now Bethany was less than two miles from Jerusalem, ¹⁹ and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother. ²⁰ When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home.  ²¹ “Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died. ²² But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.”
 ²³ Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.”
 ²⁴ Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.”
 ²⁵ Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; ²⁶ and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
 ²⁷ “Yes, Lord,” she replied, “I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.”
 ²⁸ After she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. “The Teacher is here,” she said, “and is asking for you.” ²⁹ When Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him. ³⁰ Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him. ³¹ When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there.
 ³² When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
 ³³ When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. ³⁴ “Where have you laid him?” he asked.
   “Come and see, Lord,” they replied.
 ³⁵ Jesus wept.
 ³⁶ Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”
 ³⁷ But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?”
 ³⁸ Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. ³⁹ “Take away the stone,” he said.    “But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.”
 ⁴⁰ Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”
 ⁴¹ So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. ⁴² I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.”
 ⁴³ When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” ⁴⁴ The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face.
   Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”
 ⁴⁵ Therefore many of the Jews who had come to visit Mary, and had seen what Jesus did, believed in him.

In our weakness He is strong

Have you ever had those times when you find something you've been looking for for a while, and it ends up being in the most obvious place?  Or perhaps you've been trying to figure something out, and the answer turns out to be exceedingly simple?  I had one of those this morning.  I was reading in 2 Corinthians 12, and got to verses 6-10, and I simply can't believe that I haven't studied them before.  They're an absolute gold mine.

Of course I've heard them before, having grown up in the church - "in our weakness He is strong" is one of the flagship slogans of the church.  But I've never really thought about it, especially in my present circumstances - it's just something that you say, right?  Dead wrong. 

When I don't know where I will be living tomorrow night - He is strong.  When work is murder - He is strong.  When I walking is painful because my back has pinched nerves from stress - He is strong.  The point of this life is not to make towering accomplishments in our own strength.  It's to depend on God and to show the world just what He can just - things that would make our "towering accomplishments" look like twig huts in the mud.  When you think of it like that, it really puts all of our troubles into perspective, doesn't it?  They're a whole lot easier to bear when we know that God will make beautiful victories out of them - if we let Him.

2 Corinthians 12:6-10

Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, ⁷ or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. ⁸ Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. ⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 

Light

The past few days have been so stressful.  One thing after another after another, in incredibly rapid succession, has happened to me, leaving me dazed and blindsided and completely exhausted.  And it's so easy, when everything is going wrong, to just start complaining and to focus on the negatives things going on in your life.  I must admit, that's what I've caught myself doing on more than one occasion.

But God always seems to be there when I do that, gently reminding me to look for the good that He has given me.  He has called us to be lights in a dark world.  But so often we forget that, and just focus on the darkness.  Logically speaking, I probably have every reason to be upset right now.  But God's ways do not always seem logical to us.  And if I were honest with myself, I know that harboring anger and bitterness will end up hurting no one but myself.  Taking the higher road and being a light is the only positive, helpful option - for everyone involved.

But to light up the dark, that means that you have to actually GO to the dark.  There will be dark, difficult times in your life.  It would be amazing if becoming a Christian meant that all of the bad things disappeared.  But that's not true - just the opposite, in fact.  The key to following the Lord is to learn how to display your light proudly, even when all you want to do is to hide your candle under a bed and sink into the dark oblivion of the world.

Luke 8:16-18

¹⁶ “No one lights a lamp and hides it in a clay jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, they put it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light. ¹⁷ For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. ¹⁸ Therefore consider carefully how you listen. Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what they think they have will be taken from them.”

Reevaluate

Have you ever wanted something so badly, with such a single-minded focus, that you kind of lose touch on reality?  Ever been so blinded by emotions that you lose your ability to think rationally?  Deep desires of the heart are normal – we’ve been created to experience passion.  But when your existence becomes marked by that one desire, by that desperate wish to have that prayer answered, that problem solved, or that issue taken care of, then you find that you have started to lose touch on reality.

I can totally relate to this.  For many weeks now, my sole hearts cry has been that God would relieve me of my difficult situation in my homestay.  Well today, rather out of the blue, He did just that.  And I’m kind of left spinning in the dust, wondering what happened.  I am starting to realize that my happiness was not linked to where I lived, but rather my perspective on life. 

So now the question is this: now that my whole life has changed, now that I thought I got what I wanted, how do I find contentment if it’s not what I was expecting?   How do I feel fulfilled when life hasn’t turned out the way that I want it to? 

The key is to make sure that you’re asking the right questions.  The Bible does not hand us a blank check and say, “ask away!”  We cannot ask for anything and be sure that we will get it, or even that it will be good for us if we DO get it.  But we ARE promised that if we ask for something according to His will, that He will hear us.  So if you’re feeling frustrated, stuck in the same old prayer rut asking for the same old thing, and He’s still not answering you, then maybe it’s time to reevaluate yourself…perhaps you’re asking for the wrong things.  

1 John 5:14-15

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.  And if we know that He hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we asked of Him.

Step out of the boat

I found out today that the executive director of Fulbright had just called the chairman of the board of my school to put pressure on them to find a new homestay for me.  I should be elated.  Living in this home has been uncomfortable at best, and downright hostile at worst.  But I'm not.  I'm actually quite depressed.  And I can't really seem to figure out why.

Perhaps it is because, as difficult as it is here, at least I know what to expect.  Going to a completely new home, learning about a completely new family all over again....it sounds exhausting to me, and not something that I particularly want to deal with.  Perhaps it is because I was hoping to be able to live with someone that I already know, but that does not seem to be a possibility.  Perhaps it is because I still hoped, in my heart of hearts, that this situation could be resolved without me moving, and now that seems to definitively not be an option.  Whatever the reason, I greeted the news of the imminent search for a new family with trepidation, not excitement.

 I wonder if that's how Peter felt when Jesus told him to walk on the water.  I'm sure that he looked at stepping out of the boat with more than a little trepidation, as well.  Sometimes we look even at the things that we know will be good for us in the long run with suspicion and distrust - in fact, those are often the circumstances met with the most skepticism.

What Jesus asks of us is very simple, and yet simultaneously so difficult.  He asks us to trust Him.  He asks us to put our faith in Him and to step out of the boat, even when the waves are huge and the sea is roiling.  Do you have the courage to believe in Him, to let Him do His stuff, even when your whole world seems to have been turned upside down?

Matthew 14:22-33

²² Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. ²³ After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, ²⁴ and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.
 ²⁵ Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. ²⁶ When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.
 ²⁷ But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
 ²⁸ “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
   ²⁹ “Come,” he said.
   Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. ³⁰ But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
 ³¹ Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
 ³² And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. ³³ Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”
 

Break your routine

I walked home a different way today.  It's amazing how many new things I saw.  Honestly, let's be real, it's not like I had gone to a different country, or even a different city - I was still in Gyeongju, South Korea, the same place I've been for the last 3 months.  I'm sure that the outside markets, and the street vendors, and the traditional rice cake and bread shops, and the toy stores, and the old men slowly, regally pedaling their bicycles in the middle of the road exist along my original route, too.  But I've never noticed them.

Isn't it amazing how a simple change of your routine can make you so much more aware of the world around you?  Normally I stick my headphones in my ears, settle my backpack on my back, and trudge home the exact same way, hardly even glancing up because I know the route so well.  But today I was awake, alert, and attentive to everything around me.  It was incredible.  And I refuse to think that my walk home was so much more interesting simply because I happened upon a more interesting way home.  No, there's a lesson to be learned here.

God calls us to serve the disadvantaged, and to invite the poor into our homes.  But how can we do that if we don't pay attention?  If we plug our ears and bury our heads in our chests and go about our daily business, entrenched in our own lives and routines, how will we ever know when the people around us need help?  How will we ever notice those in need?  The next time you wake up and realize that you haven't done anything out of your routine in a while, I challenge you to change that.  You'll be surprised by what you see.

Luke 14:7-14

⁷ When he noticed how the guests picked the places of honor at the table, he told them this parable: ⁸ “When someone invites you to a wedding feast, do not take the place of honor, for a person more distinguished than you may have been invited. ⁹ If so, the host who invited both of you will come and say to you, ‘Give this person your seat.’ Then, humiliated, you will have to take the least important place. ¹⁰ But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, ‘Friend, move up to a better place.’ Then you will be honored in the presence of all the other guests. ¹¹ For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
 ¹² Then Jesus said to his host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. ¹³ But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, ¹⁴ and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”