Intro

One girl's quest to step out of the boat and walk daily with her Savior

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Know Love first

As a child, I was fascinated by the story of Mara and Sheftu. It is a romance, true, but not one of those trashy romances that my friends and I are so fond of making fun of. The story of Mara and Sheftu is characterized by strong characters and an even stronger love that unites them. Mara was my introduction to self assured, intelligent female literary characters, at least so far as I can remember. And Sheftu...well, I have wanted to find my Sheftu even when I still thought that boys had cuties and drooled.

I am no longer a child. But I still dream of being a Mara; a confident, successful woman who doesn't need a man to be happy, and yet still ends up finding the man who complements her perfectly in every way. But I, like Mara, have much to learn about love.

I have learned that love has nothing to do with how I feel about someone, or what they do for me, or what they DON'T do for me. I have learned that love is a choice, a decision, an action, whether the gushy feelings are there or not. I have learned that I cannot love without knowing Love. And I have learned...that I am not ready to love another the way that I want to be loved.

Oh, amidst the plethora of peers and friends of mine who are engaged, married, or with child, how difficult that is to say! I put up a good front, but I truly desire that more than almost anything. And yet...God's timing is not ours. God's timing is not MINE. My competitive, impatient self finds that very difficult to accept. And yet, I thank God every day for giving me the gift of memory. For when I look back at my life, I can see how His timing is always so much better than mine.

Song of Solomon 3:1-5
 1 All night long on my bed
   I looked for the one my heart loves;
   I looked for him but did not find him.
2 I will get up now and go about the city,
   through its streets and squares;
I will search for the one my heart loves.
   So I looked for him but did not find him.
3 The watchmen found me
   as they made their rounds in the city.
   “Have you seen the one my heart loves?”
4 Scarcely had I passed them
   when I found the one my heart loves.
I held him and would not let him go
   till I had brought him to my mother’s house,
   to the room of the one who conceived me.
5 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
   by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love
   until it so desires.

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