My heart is so heavy these days. The clock keeps ticking - 40, 35, 30, 25. Unmercifully, relentlessly, the calendar refuses to stop counting down the days until I will have to board that plane and leave Korea. I remember when I first came here - my worry, my fears, my insecurities, my sheer terror at the thought of spending a year in a country which I didn't speak the language, on a continent I'd never even been to, doing a job that I had no experience in. It was petrifying. I can't tell you how many nights I cried myself to sleep in the weeks leading up to my departure for Korea.
But then I arrived. And everything was so different from what I expected. Sure, it was hard. I will never attempt to pretend that the past year has been all roses and candy. I had my days when I cried, when I screamed into my pillow, when it took everything in me not to punch someone in the face. But eventually, one day I woke up and realized that I love my life here.
I am connected, here in Korea, in a way that I've never been before in my life. I have students who adore me, and I them....I have dear friends, lifelong friends....I have a church that has become not just a place to worship, but a fellowship, a family. I feel more at home here, on the other side of the world, than I ever did in America. And it has got me wondering - why on earth am I going back to the states??
Why on earth would I leave the place that is more my home than anything has ever been before? Out of all of the cities, countries, and continents that I've been to, I feel more at home in Gyeongju than I ever have anywhere else. I feel loved by my students, connected with my church, close to my friends....in a word, I feel needed. I feel like I am making a difference in the lives of the people around me. And the thought of leaving all of that - all of the places, the people, the relationships that I have invested so much into....the thought of that fills me with a sadness so pervasive that I find it difficult to put into words.
But God's word reminds me that there is a season for everything. Just because I am leaving Korea, doesn't mean that I can never come back. It simply means that, for now, I will be investing in different people, in a different country. If anything, this year has taught me how important it is to invest in people, in relationships. Simply piling up a list of accomplishments and accolades is not enough. If you don't have the personal relationships, the people that you've poured your heart and soul into, then you will never feel at home. And, if you do have that, then you can feel at home no matter where you are.
Don't let yourself get bogged down by the what-ifs, the nostalgia, the wishful thinking. Yes, you have had good things, wonderful things, in your past. But there is a season for everything, there is a reason that you have moved onto to different things, and God has told you to bloom right where you are planted. If you are so stuck in the past, so focused on what you're missing, on what you've left behind, you will never be able to focus on what's happening to you right now. Bloom where you're planted. Invest in the here and now. Don't just waste your life pining for the things that you're missing.
But then I arrived. And everything was so different from what I expected. Sure, it was hard. I will never attempt to pretend that the past year has been all roses and candy. I had my days when I cried, when I screamed into my pillow, when it took everything in me not to punch someone in the face. But eventually, one day I woke up and realized that I love my life here.
I am connected, here in Korea, in a way that I've never been before in my life. I have students who adore me, and I them....I have dear friends, lifelong friends....I have a church that has become not just a place to worship, but a fellowship, a family. I feel more at home here, on the other side of the world, than I ever did in America. And it has got me wondering - why on earth am I going back to the states??
Why on earth would I leave the place that is more my home than anything has ever been before? Out of all of the cities, countries, and continents that I've been to, I feel more at home in Gyeongju than I ever have anywhere else. I feel loved by my students, connected with my church, close to my friends....in a word, I feel needed. I feel like I am making a difference in the lives of the people around me. And the thought of leaving all of that - all of the places, the people, the relationships that I have invested so much into....the thought of that fills me with a sadness so pervasive that I find it difficult to put into words.
But God's word reminds me that there is a season for everything. Just because I am leaving Korea, doesn't mean that I can never come back. It simply means that, for now, I will be investing in different people, in a different country. If anything, this year has taught me how important it is to invest in people, in relationships. Simply piling up a list of accomplishments and accolades is not enough. If you don't have the personal relationships, the people that you've poured your heart and soul into, then you will never feel at home. And, if you do have that, then you can feel at home no matter where you are.
Don't let yourself get bogged down by the what-ifs, the nostalgia, the wishful thinking. Yes, you have had good things, wonderful things, in your past. But there is a season for everything, there is a reason that you have moved onto to different things, and God has told you to bloom right where you are planted. If you are so stuck in the past, so focused on what you're missing, on what you've left behind, you will never be able to focus on what's happening to you right now. Bloom where you're planted. Invest in the here and now. Don't just waste your life pining for the things that you're missing.
1 Corinthians 7:17-24
17 Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches. 18 Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God’s commands is what counts. 20 Each person should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.21 Were you a slave when you were called? Don’t let it trouble you—although if you can gain your freedom, do so. 22 For the one who was a slave when called to faith in the Lord is the Lord’s freed person; similarly, the one who was free when called is Christ’s slave. 23 You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of human beings. 24 Brothers and sisters, each person, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.
No comments:
Post a Comment