The little things

For a twenty-one year old girl, I consider myself fairly well-traveled.  I have been to 5 continents, done homestays in 4 of them, and visited 11 countries.  I’ve taken buses in Costa Rica, ridden camels in Morocco, and explored the subway in Paris.  I’ve eaten fermented cabbage, boiled octopus, and fried grasshoppers.  So when I went to South Korea, I didn’t think I’d have a problem adjusting. 

But there’s something about Korea that sticks with you no matter where you go or what you do.  The frustration of not speaking the language or even knowing the letters permeates every facet of life.  Cultural differences abound everywhere you look.  The food, the clothing, the forms of respect; even simple things like doing laundry are different here.  And, because of that, things rarely go the way that I expect them to.  My mind has a set mold that determines what I expect to happen within certain contexts, and every single day – sometimes every single hour – that mold is being challenged and frustrated.

And it’s difficult never knowing what to expect.  Regardless of what country you are in, regardless of how fluently you speak the language or how comfortable you are in in your environment, there are always going to be times when things don’t go according to plan.  And it’s easy to let those little things eat away at you until you’re ready to explode.  You may seem fine…but when the scales finally tip, Heaven help the poor unsuspecting soul who received the brunt of your unexpected and undeserved rage.

But Proverbs warns us repeatedly against allowing anger to control us.  Anger is a cancer that will destroy not only ourselves, but also our relationships with everyone around us.  Be careful that you don’t let it consume you.  Don’t let the little things build up until you’ve created a monster.  Find a healthy outlet to let off steam.  Go running.  Call a friend.  Journal.  Whatever your outlet is, make sure that you find one.  Life is too precious to waste any time fretting about the things that don’t go your way.  Use them, instead, as an opportunity to ask God to teach you something new.  I promise you, He won’t disappoint you.

Proverbs 16:32
Better a patient person than a warrior,
   one with self-control than one who takes a city. 

Proverbs 15:18
A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict,
   but the one who is patient calms a quarrel. 

Proverbs 19:11
A person’s wisdom yields patience;
   it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. 

Human Wisdom

It's amazing to me how right we can think we are sometimes, and how wrong we in reality are.  Today I learned the hard way just how fallacious human wisdom can be. 

As Christians, sometimes it's so easy to get puffed up with pride at how "good" you are.  You go to church every week, you're in a Bible study, you don't drink, you don't do drugs, you don't swear, you do all of the things that you're "supposed" to do.  And sometimes we start to get a "holier-than-thou" mentality.  Most people try to avoid that, but sometimes it can show up even subconsciously or unintentionally. 

I had a situation today where my best-laid intentions were seriously misconstrued.  The worst of it was, because it was something that I wrote, not something that I said, I wasn't even around to set the record straight.  By the time I heard about it, it had blown up in my face.  The biggest irony to me is that what was interpreted was not what was meant in the least.  But human wisdom is fallacious, and sometimes even our best intentions will fall flat.

That's why it's so important to seek His face, to gain His wisdom.  The fact that I hurt so many people - especially unknowingly - kills me.  That's something I'll have to live with for quite a while.  But the good news is that God gives His wisdom generously - all we have to do is ask.

But we also have to be willing to listen.  Despite our best efforts, we will still screw up sometimes.  And when we do, we must be willing to let others tell us that we've screwed up.  Listen to people when they point out your mistakes to you.  Don't be pig-headed and insist on your "right-ness."  People are always watching you, even when you don't realize it, judging your Savior by how He is reflected through you - in your successes AND your failures. 

James 1:5
But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

Proverbs 13:10
Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and turn away from evil.

Proverbs 14:8
Through presumption comes nothing but strife, But with those who receive counsel is wisdom.  

Proverbs 19:20
He whose ear listens to the life-giving reproof Will dwell among the wise.

Proverbs 29:11
Listen to counsel and accept discipline, That you may be wise the rest of your days.

Proverbs 29:15
A fool always loses his temper, But a wise man holds it back. 

Why does God always come out of nowhere?

When I was in high school I had my whole life planned out for myself.  When I started college the plan had changed, but a definite plan still existed.  Now, almost on the flip side of college, I look back (and forward) and realize that I have no idea where my life is going.  Not only that, but the things that have have been most influential and most shaped my life I would have never predicted in a million years.  Going to Berry College.  My trip to Costa Rica.  My internships at Shaw at GSU.  I have grown so much these past few years, and the path of my life has changed so drastically.  I am so grateful that at least God knows my future, because sometimes I'm hopelessly confused.

Like now.  Adults weren't kidding when they said that graduating is scary.  I'm blessed enough to be able to say that my problem is not a lack of options, but rather a plethora of them.  Proverbs 19:21 is only too true - it says, "many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails."  I have too many opportunities, and cannot choose between them.  And two of them, a summer internship and a job in Philadelphia, have really come out of nowhere within the past week.  I would never have even considered them before; but remembering how God has a habit of sending me opportunities from left field, I have to give pause and consider them a little more closely.  One of them is an internship with a church in Boston over the summer, mentoring middle-school aged girls.  I've never felt called to enter the Ministry, and would never have sought this out on my own.  But I DO love people, and I DO feel called to do big things for God, things that are out of my comfort zone.  Another one is a public policy job in Philadelphia - another thing that I would never, ever have pursued on my own.  But it seems to align itself surprisingly well with my passions.  Of course, then I also have Fulbright and GA Tech to think about, too.  With all of these conflicting opportunities and decisions, I'm left kind of floundering and wondering where I'm supposed to go.

It's times like these when I'm especially grateful for the peace and comfort (and direction!) that God's Word offers.  Of course there's the often-quoted Jeremiah 29:11 - "'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.'"  But that's not the only source of comfort that can be found in the Bible.  Another one of my personal favorites is Proverbs 3:5-6, which says, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."  Proverbs 19:21 says, "Many are the ways of a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails."  Romans 8:28 - "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them."  Psalm 119:105 - "Your Word is a lamo to my feet and a light to my path."  Psalm 71:5 - "For You are my hope, O LORD God; You are my trust from my youth."  Joshua 1:9 - "Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

There are plenty more examples, but this is probably enough for now.  The point is, God is with us.  He knows us, He knows our future, and He loves us more than we could ever imagine.  So pay attention...when something comes your way that you would not have looked for, it may be God's way of telling you that He knows best!  O Lord, I pray that you give me the wisdom to tell the difference between random opportunities and divine intervention.  To You be the glory always....