No more coattails

Yesterday I took the bus with a few other ETAs into Cheonan.  While we were riding, we had lots of time to talk, and I got into several conversations about God, or beliefs on other things like dating and how to treat elders and family.  And they were drilling me.

These are not the sort of people who will just take what you believe at face value.  They will drill you.  They will ask you questions, and want to know why you believe what you believe.  Which is a good thing, but can also be scary at the same time.

Being drilled with questions means that you have to know why you believe certain things.  You cannot just ride on the coattails of your parents.  You have to make your faith your own.  You have to study and pray and dig deeper to find a foundation for your faith, not just a platform for your parroting of beliefs.

Building a foundation is hard.  It's much easier to just say you believe what your parents taught you to believe.  But having a foundation is essential; not only for you, but for the people you come into contact with, as well.  If you meet someone who is searching, who asks questions and drills you about what you believe, do you think that saying "just because" will be enough for their inquiring minds?  Don't risk the possibility of someone choosing not to believe in God simply because you could not tell them why you do.

Proverbs 3:1-18

 ¹ My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart,
² for they will prolong your life many years and bring you peace and prosperity.

 ³ Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck,
   write them on the tablet of your heart.
⁴ Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.

 ⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

 ⁷ Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil.
⁸ This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.

 ⁹ Honor the LORD with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops;
¹⁰ then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine.

 ¹¹ My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke,
¹² because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.

 ¹³ Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding,
¹⁴ for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold.
¹⁵ She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.
¹⁶ Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor.
¹⁷ Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace.
¹⁸ She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her; those who hold her fast will be blessed.

He makes my paths straight

I had the most vivid dreams last night - abnormally vivid.  It was even stranger because I almost never dream.  I'm told all the time that everybody dreams, but I can count on one hand the number of dreams that I've actually had any recollection of by the time morning dawned.  But last night, I dreamed that I got accepted to all sorts of prestigious organizations in the United States - for graduate study, research, work, whatever.  Looking back, of course it was silly and unrealistic.  Most of those things I had never even applied for.  But I was convinced that it was happening - I even had to check my email accounts this morning to make sure that I really did not receive or send any of those messages that I thought I had.

But I also woke up with the refrain of a song based on Proverbs 3:5-6 repeating in my head.  And I realized that there was a huge conflict going on in my head.  The dreams were what I wanted - the song is what God wants.  My bags are all packed, my affairs in order, my friends said goodbye to, and I'll be leaving the country in T-minus 3 days.  But honestly, I don't want to.  I want to stay in my little bubble, happy and comfortable and safe.  I want to stay near to my friends and family and the life that I know.  It's easy, and I know it well.

But God hasn't called us to an easy life.  He's called us to a life of faith, a life of trust.  Notice that Proverbs 3 does NOT say that if we trust in the LORD, He will make our paths easy.  It says that He will make our paths straight.  But that doesn't mean that our path will be flat, and we that we will be able to see our future all the way to the horizon.  It will go up and down.  We won't always have a clear view of what's going to happen next.  But God has a bird's eye view - bumps and hills in our lives don't phase Him.  He still sees the big picture.  So trust Him.  He won't lead you into a dead end. 

Proverbs 3:5-6

 ⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Life's little roaches

I've never been a squeamish girl.  Snakes, spiders, bugs, ants, whatever....they've never really bothered me.  I don't like them and we'll never be best friends, but I can handle them.  But one bug that I've never been able to handle is cockroaches.  Their beady little eyes, their squirmy little bodies, the way they splatter when you squish them....everything about cockroaches completely freaks me out.  I turn into a helpless, pathetic wuss every time I see them.  If I wasn't so terrified of them, my reaction might even be considered amusing because of the sheer disparity between the size of my problem and the fear of it.

Well last night, I was watching a movie in my house with a friend.  The movie had just ended, and we were just sitting around talking.  All of a sudden, in my peripheral vision, something caught my eye.  It was a roach.  Actually, not just a roach.  Not even two roaches.  Three cockroaches had invaded my living room.  And I was a wreck.  I alternated between whimpering in fear, nervously looking around me, and running out of the room while my friend bravely killed all of the offending intruders. 

I thought that I'd finally started to be at peace with going to Korea - and then I woke up this morning.  This is my last Friday in the States...and so begins my week of "lasts".  I always hate the last week, no matter where I'm going, and this week looks like it will be no exception.  I woke up with heart pounding and stomach flopping, thinking of nothing in the world other than that plane ride next Friday.

But then I realized....how different was that reaction to my reaction to the cockroaches in my living room last night?  Although my problems might be overwhelming and terrifying to me, to God they're no bigger than cockroaches.  So this morning, my heart doubly pounding both because it's my last Friday, and because of my terrifying encounter last night, I turned to God.  I cast my anxieties on Him, because I know that He cares for me.  Even if I'm being silly and freaked out over something as insignificant as a cockroach.

Proverbs 3:24

When you lie down, you will not be afraid;
   when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. 

Deuteronomy 33:12

  “Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him,
   for he shields him all day long,
   and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders.”

 Psalm 112:6-8

 ⁶ Surely the righteous will never be shaken; they will be remembered forever.
⁷ They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the LORD.
⁸ Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear; in the end they will look in triumph on their foes.

Why does God always come out of nowhere?

When I was in high school I had my whole life planned out for myself.  When I started college the plan had changed, but a definite plan still existed.  Now, almost on the flip side of college, I look back (and forward) and realize that I have no idea where my life is going.  Not only that, but the things that have have been most influential and most shaped my life I would have never predicted in a million years.  Going to Berry College.  My trip to Costa Rica.  My internships at Shaw at GSU.  I have grown so much these past few years, and the path of my life has changed so drastically.  I am so grateful that at least God knows my future, because sometimes I'm hopelessly confused.

Like now.  Adults weren't kidding when they said that graduating is scary.  I'm blessed enough to be able to say that my problem is not a lack of options, but rather a plethora of them.  Proverbs 19:21 is only too true - it says, "many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails."  I have too many opportunities, and cannot choose between them.  And two of them, a summer internship and a job in Philadelphia, have really come out of nowhere within the past week.  I would never have even considered them before; but remembering how God has a habit of sending me opportunities from left field, I have to give pause and consider them a little more closely.  One of them is an internship with a church in Boston over the summer, mentoring middle-school aged girls.  I've never felt called to enter the Ministry, and would never have sought this out on my own.  But I DO love people, and I DO feel called to do big things for God, things that are out of my comfort zone.  Another one is a public policy job in Philadelphia - another thing that I would never, ever have pursued on my own.  But it seems to align itself surprisingly well with my passions.  Of course, then I also have Fulbright and GA Tech to think about, too.  With all of these conflicting opportunities and decisions, I'm left kind of floundering and wondering where I'm supposed to go.

It's times like these when I'm especially grateful for the peace and comfort (and direction!) that God's Word offers.  Of course there's the often-quoted Jeremiah 29:11 - "'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.'"  But that's not the only source of comfort that can be found in the Bible.  Another one of my personal favorites is Proverbs 3:5-6, which says, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."  Proverbs 19:21 says, "Many are the ways of a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails."  Romans 8:28 - "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them."  Psalm 119:105 - "Your Word is a lamo to my feet and a light to my path."  Psalm 71:5 - "For You are my hope, O LORD God; You are my trust from my youth."  Joshua 1:9 - "Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

There are plenty more examples, but this is probably enough for now.  The point is, God is with us.  He knows us, He knows our future, and He loves us more than we could ever imagine.  So pay attention...when something comes your way that you would not have looked for, it may be God's way of telling you that He knows best!  O Lord, I pray that you give me the wisdom to tell the difference between random opportunities and divine intervention.  To You be the glory always....