Dwell in Him

It's amazing to me how God's word lines up with what's going on in my life.  My friends' loss of their home has been laying very heavy on my heart.  And today, I opened up my Bible to Psalm 84.  The first verse says, "How lovely is Your dwelling place, O LORD Almighty."  Verse four then follows that up by saying "blessed are those who dwell in Your house."  A little bit later, in verse 5, it says that "blessed are those whose strength is in You."  To me, that really hit home.  Even if we have lost our own home, we can find strength in God and rest in His home.  He will take care of us.  That's hard to believe when I look at photos of the devastation in Alabama.  Entire neighborhoods are completely flattened, reduced to piles of rubbish and strewn lumber.  Hundreds of people have been killed, sometimes entire families.  How can God take care of someone through that?  The simple answer to that is....I don't know.  But He can.  He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it (Philippians 1:6).  Even though life doesn't make sense, that's a promise that we can take to the bank.

Psalm 84:1-7

How lovely is your dwelling place, LORD Almighty!
My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.
Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, 

where she may have her young—a place near your altar, 

LORD Almighty, my King and my God.
Blessed are those who dwell in your house; they are ever praising you.

Blessed are those whose strength is in you, whose hearts are set on pilgrimage. 

As they pass through the Valley of Baka, they make it a place of springs; 

the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.

Pruning day...

I saw a vine on a big tree branch the other day.  It was not just sitting on top of the branch; it was completely entwined around it, so much so that you could barely see the branch.  I thought to myself, how horrible that must be for that branch!  It's going to die!  And it's true, that the branch will probably die if the vine is not cut off; but then it occurred to me, that's what's supposed to happen in the spiritual realm.

Jesus says that "He is the Vine, and we are the branches" (John 15:1-8).  That means that we are supposed to die to ourselves and live for Him.  It also means that He will not just be near us, but that He will encircle us, entwine us, completely surround us with His presence if we let Him.

But here's another thing about branches: they must be pruned.  No plant will bring forth beautiful fruit if it is just left to run wild.  Nor will we.  I've been really struggling with the devastation that happened in Rome, Alabama, and other areas from the storm on Wednesday.  So God is gently reminding me that He is the Vine, and we are the branches.  He knows what's best for us - even when it doesn't seem like it.  Even when it hurts.  I pray that He will help me remember that in the coming days and weeks.

He makes me dwell in safety

Last night was one of the scariest nights of my life.  Yesterday morning, a huge storm ripped through my campus.  After the skies cleared, I stepped out of my dorm to survey the damage.  There were easily 30 massive trees down, with numerous smaller ones.  Buildings were cut in half.  The entire campus - and 16,000 other Rome residents - was without power - estimates are that we with continue to be without power until the weekend at least, due to the extent of the damage.  But then the skies cleared, and the rest of the day was sunny.  I thought the worst was over.  I thought we were safe.  Boy was I wrong.

Cue last night.  Around 8:00, the storms came back with a vengeance.  Probably the biggest storm that I've ever experienced in my entire life rocked my city.  And not just my city - it stretched from Mississippi to New York.  Over 140 tornadoes touched down, some more than once. Around 8:30, the RA's came through our dorms and told everyone we were evacuating.  But by then, the storm was too bad, and we couldn't go outside.  So the entire dorm was herded into the first floor hall.  And there we sat.  And sat.  For hours we sat there and watched the continuous, monstrous bolts of lighting split the sky.  We heard the thunder that seemed like it would break the building in half.  Students looked up the increasingly-ominous Doppler forecasts on their smartphones and shared them with everyone.  I found out that a family very dear to us had lost their home, and pretty much everything in it.  All while I sat in a hallway, helpless.

When they evacuated us, I had stuffed some important things into a backpack and brought it with me.  One of those things was my Bible.  I was so agitated I couldn't even stand still, so I pulled out my Bible to Psalms and started reading.  When I got to Psalms 4, I started crying.  I couldn't believe what I was reading.  It was as if David had written that Psalm specifically for me, knowing that I would need it last night.  "Answer me when I call to You, my God...give me relief from my distress...hear my prayer...trust in the LORD...In peace I will lie down and sleep, for You alone, LORD, make me dwell in safety."

The last line of that Psalm was the real doozie.  I tell you what, I most certainly did not feel safe last night.  But the LORD my God makes me dwell in safety.  He will take care of me.  Even now, the though brings tears to my eyes.  I tell you what, I haven't prayed as hard as I did last night in a very long time.  And when my words dried up, I read the Bible.  And when my eyes blurred, I sang.  As frightening as last night was, God was very much with me.  

After I found out about our friends who had lost everything, the middle part of the chapter resonated that much more with me.  It says that "Many, LORD, are asking, “Who will bring us prosperity?” Let the light of your face shine on us.  Fill my heart with joy when their grain and new wine abound."  I know that this is much easier to say when I am not the one who has lost my home, but just reading about how God will prosper those who love Him was comforting.  The Psalmist does not ask for their grain and new wine to abound...unless a tornado flattens their house, and in that case they're just out of luck.  He simply asks God to prosper them, period.  God is bigger than a tornado.  He calmed the storm and walked on water.  As myself, my friends and my family begin to pick up the pieces of our lives, that sure is a comforting thought.   

Psalm 4

Answer me when I call to you, my righteous God.
Give me relief from my distress; have mercy on me and hear my prayer......

Offer the sacrifices of the righteous and trust in the LORD.

Many, LORD, are asking, “Who will bring us prosperity?” 

Let the light of your face shine on us.
Fill my heart with joy when their grain and new wine abound.

In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, LORD, make me dwell in safety.

Glory where it's due...

It's interesting that after studying yesterday about how God provides for me and has a plan for my life, today's topic would be how it's not about me.  In John 21:20-24, there is a narrative in which John tells a story about an encounter between Jesus and one of Jesus' disciples.  Although the disciple is actually John himself, he never mentions himself by name.  What a contrast to today's society, where people are bent on taking credit for everything that brings them honor, sometimes even when they're not actually responsible for it!!

So often I've heard the analogy that our life is a book with different chapters in it.  But just because it is a book doesn't mean that it is an autobiography.  We are just the pages, not the author.  And really, when you think about it, what sort of credit or glory can the static, dead pages of a book really claim??  We are nothing without God.  But that's not a cut-down; rather, it is a wonderful, glorious reality that our God chooses to work through us anyway.

The more I get to know God and the more I get to know myself, the more I realize that HE is the hero of this story, not me.  Going to Korea for a year, as scary and overwhelming it is, and as bittersweet as I may feel to be leaving my family for so long, is a wonderful opportunity.  But it is also a God-given opportunity.  Sure, I could say that well, I should really get the credit for winning a Fulbright Scholarship, since I was the one who worked so hard all through college.  But God was the One who gave me the opportunity to go to Berry, He was the One who gave me the opportunity to stay at Berry, He was the One who sent me wonderful opportunities while at college, both during the school year and during the summer.  Heck, He was the One who gave me my intelligence and drive in the first place; so really, it's not difficult at all to say that God really is the sole reason I am standing where I am today.  I'm so humbled and grateful to Him right now.  To God be the glory!!

The Lord is my Shepherd

Today was the last day of my Bible study on the life of Daniel.  I was quite sad about it.  But at the same time, my heart is overflowing with God's goodness.  We spent tonight studying Psalm 23.  The biggest thing that I heard from tonight's study was that the Lord takes care of me.  He is my Jehovah Jireh - the Lord my Provider. (There's a reason that's my favorite name of the Lord :])  There was one thing that Beth Moore said tonight that really stood out to me.  She said that, as long as we have the desire to follow God's will, His will will find us, and we will not make the wrong choice!  I've been second-guessing my going to Korea quite a bit lately.  There's so much that I will miss while I am gone.  God really confirmed to me that He's got me going where He wants me, and that He will indeed take care of me.  I was rather overwhelmed tonight with how much he has given me already.  He has given me wonderful mentors like Kerrie, fabulous friends like Sylvain, Caroline, and Emily, and confirmation of His plan for my life beyond count.  I sit here tonight completely humbled and absolutely baffled by the depth of His love and provision for me.  Who am I, that He should bless me so?  I was talking with a friend tonight, and started absolutely gushing about the Lord's provisions.  I literally couldn't stop.  I truly do lack nothing.  He has guided me along a path for my life that I would have never imagined, but has been incredible, and I have no doubt that He will be faithful and continue to lead me.  My soul has been refreshed like I would have never dreamed possible.  I absolutely cannot wait to see what else He has in store for me.

Psalm 23

The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters,
 He refreshes my soul.  He guides me along the right paths for His name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
 Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

A perspective of praise

First Chronicles 29 is a powerful example of what praise can do.  It inspired David, it inspired his son, and it inspired the nation.  And, although, authentic praise is directed to God, it is important to not forget the benefits that we reap from it.  First of all, praise reminds us of who He is.  By praising Him for His awesome wonders, we are reminded of Him in all His wonder - something we forget all too easily.  Praise also reminds us who we are.  It gives us perspective.  It is pretty much impossible to emerge from all-out worship of the Father without realizing just how insignificant we are.  I love the beginning of Psalm 8.  It is after considering "the works of God's hands" and praising Him for it, that the Psalmist realizes just how small He is.  So my goal this week is to gain a new perspective - to praise God with all I am in everything I do, so that I may understand anew who He is - and who I am, as well.

Psalm 8:1-4

LORD, our LORD, how majestic is Your name in all the earth!

You have set your glory in the heavens.
Through the praise of children and infants 

you have established a stronghold against your enemies, 

to silence the foe and the avenger.
When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,
what is mankind that you are mindful of them, 

human beings that you care for them?

Easter

I've grown up in the church.  I've heard that "Jesus died for my sins" so often that sometimes I'm in danger of becoming numb to that wonderful fact.  There are times when hearing that has about as much impact on me as someone commenting that it looks like it's going to rain. 

But today I really stopped and thought about what that means.  Jesus died for my sins.  He didn't just die; He was tortured, mutilated, beaten and mocked.  He experienced just about as much agony as is physically possible - all for me.  My Sunday School teacher this morning addressed us with a challenge.  After describing in detail the physical pain that Jesus went through, he said this: "The next time you're contemplating a sin, or trying to talk yourself into one - because we all have done that before - consider the agony that Jesus went through on the cross, and just remember, that that sin you want to commit is what put Him up there."  Wow. 

And Jesus wasn't the only one who went through agony.  I always seem to forget about God's part in the resurrection story.  Jesus is His beloved Son.  Can you imagine standing by and watching your child go through something like that?  Can you even attempt to picture the pain that God had to go through to actually sit back and allow that to happen to His Son?  Easter is one of the few days that many people have spiritual things on their hearts.  But God does not want a day of our lives devoted to Him.  He wants our whole lives.  I suppose since Jesus gave His life for me, it's the least I can do to return the favor. 

Passover

Exodus 12 tells the story of the Passover.  Although technically the Jewish Passover ceremony was last Tuesday, my family celebrated it today, the day before Easter, so that I could be there.  I love the symbolism in the Passover ceremony.  And no, my family is not Jewish, but it is still important to remember.  We ate the bitter herbs, which brought tears to our eyes, to remember the bitterness of the Israelites' slavery in Egypt.  We ate the charoseth, to remind us of the mortar that the Israelites used to make bricks with.  We ate parsley, to remind us of the hyssop branches that we dipped in blood, which saved the firstborn Israelite boys from the wrath of God.  We ate the striped, pierced, unleavened matzah bread, to remind us of our Lord Jesus Christ, who was pierced and beaten for us.

Many people ridicule traditions and ceremonies, saying that they are antiquated and silly.  But I believe that they hold power.  There is power in remembering what God has done for us.  We must not forget.  As I was sitting there, listening to the verses and words being read, that recounted Jesus' ultimate sacrifice for me, I could not help but be overcome with gratefulness.  He has given me so much.  A loving family.  Wonderful friends.  Intelligence and ambition.  He has given me, in a word, life, and life more abundantly.  Tomorrow I will celebrate Christ's resurrection.  And I pray with all my heart that I will be able to focus on Him on this special day, and realize just how much He loves me.  It's pretty overwhelming :).

A sacrifice that costs me something

I went to a Good Friday prayer walk at my church tonight.  There were 7 stations, each one depicting a scene from the story of the crucifixion and resurrection, with narrated Bible verses accompanying each scene.  There was the last supper, the garden of Gethsemane, the courtyard where Peter denied Jesus, Golgotha, etcetera.  It ended at the foot of a massive, 100+ foot cross.  It was a beautiful scene.  As I sat there, pondering what He did for me, I was overcome by the sheer magnitude of His love for me.  Like the size of the cross, as I stood underneath it, craning my neck to see the whole thing, it overwhelmed me.

So many people let Good Friday go unnoticed.  It was so refreshing to see people who still try to recognize Jesus' sacrifice for us.  My bookworm brother gave up books for Lent.  My other little siblings gave up all their screen time.  My mother resolved to not listen to music all day today, to remind her of His gift to us.  I was challenged to ask myself; what have I given up for Jesus?  What am I willing to sacrifice for the Man who gave everything for me?  It was very convicting, and very challenging.  I don't want to be the type of Christian that many people think of when they think about a "normal" American Christian.  I don't want to give to God a gift that costs me nothing, like David in 2 Samuel 24:24, who said "I will not sacrifice to the LORD my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing."  So my challenge to you is this: what sacrifices have you made in worship to Jesus?  What would you be willing to give up for the Savior who gave you everything?  Don't let another Good Friday pass by without really thinking about the gift He gave you.

Understanding simplicity

God's word has such depth.  It has been studied and researched and debated by scholars for centuries.  But what I love about God's word is that it's also so simple.  It distills things down to there core, and makes it so that even a child can understand it.

For example, 2 Peter 1:2 says, "Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord."  You wonder why you do not have peace?  It's because you don't know God.  Similarly, 1 John 2:4-6 says, "The man who says, 'I know Him,' but does not do what He commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him.  But if anyone obeys His word, God's love is truly made complete in him.  This is how we know we are in Him: Whoever claims to live in Him must walk as Jesus did."

You want peace?  Get to know the author of peace.  How?  Imitate His Son.  Such beautiful simplicity.  And, although it may seem an impossible goal for us to obtain, the Holy Spirit makes the impossible possible.  I wish we all, myself included, could really grab onto these simple, fundamental, life-changing principles found in God's word.  I really think that if we did, it would totally rock our world.

An extraordinary life

The beginning of 1 Kings is the beginning of the end for our beloved David.  First Kings 1:1 says, "When David was old and well advanced in years, he could not keep warm even when they put covers over him."  This sudden frailty, sudden sheer mortality, shocks me.  David was the one who killed a giant while the rest of Israel shook in fear.  He fought bravely and conquered nations.

David was not even very old by Biblical standards.  He was probably around 70 years old at this time, which was still a young chick compared to the 100+ years of the patriarchs before him.  But David was a man of extremes, and I imagine that 70 years of extreme emotions, extreme encounters, and extreme situations will take a toll one one's body.  David loved God wholeheartedly, mourned deeply, loved fully, and worshiped extravagantly.  His life was a constant roller coaster of highs and lows.  But the awesome thing about David is that he found God at every point in his life - every high, every low, and every point in between.  That's what I want my life to be like.  I want to conclude with a poem written by Beth Moore about the extraordinary life we were called to live.

Satisfy me not with the lesser of You

Find me no solace in shadows of the True

No ordinary measure of extraordinary means

The depth, the height, the breadth of You

And nothing in between.

Etch these words upon my heart, knowing all the while

No ordinary roadblocks plague extraordinary miles

Your power as my portion, You glory as my fare

Take me to extremities

But meet me fully there.

A gorgeous strangeness

Second Samuel chapter 23 starts off with these words: "These are the last words of David: 'The oracle of David son of Jesse, the oracle of the man exalted by the Most High...'"  That last phrase might be paraphrased in today's English as "lifted up by the Lofty."  It is a very strange combination of words not often found in the Hebrew language.  Robert Alter says this: "The two Hebrew words reflected in this translation, huqam 'al, have a gorgeous strangeness as a compacted idiom."  This phrase really stuck with me.  A gorgeous strangeness.  It it strange indeed, that God would look down on us and choose not only to bless us so extravagantly, but to bring us up to His level - so that we would be lifted up by the Lofty.

What a wonderful picture!  The first half of 2 Samuel 23 has such beautiful imagery.  Here are a few of my favorites excerpts: "when one rules over men in righteousness...he is like the light of morning at sunrise on a cloudless morning;" "[he is like] the brightness after rain that brings the grass from the earth;" "Has He not made with me an everlasting covenant?" "Will He not bring to fruition my salvation?"  David had a great imagination.  He spoke of God with descriptions and metaphors that most of us could never even hope to come up with.  But we can still benefit from learning from David.

Not only can we read his wonderful depictions of his best friend, the LORD God Almighty, but we also see from his example that it's OK to dream about God.  In fact, He wants us to.  No matter how awesome, majestic, and sovereign we make Him, we will never be able to make Him bigger than He actually is.  So go ahead, dream God up.  Make Him big.  The beauty of His gorgeous strangeness, the wonder of this thing called life, is that, for some reason He wants us to do just that.  He wants us to interact with and get to know Him, so that He can do the same with us.  He wants to romance us.  I don't know about you, but I want to be romanced.  I want a relationship with the LORD like David had; one in which he was not afraid to put every care, worry, and glory onto his Daddy's shoulders.  What a gorgeous, gorgeous strangeness is our God.

What I do know

So I was reading in 2 Samuel 24 today.  In this chapter, David took a census of the army, and God punished him by sending a plague and killing 70,000 Israelites in the span of 3 days.  This story has always troubled me.  The punishment seems so disproportionate to the crime.  But God is not a God who can always be understood.  And, when we don't understand Him, He wants us to trust in what we DO know.  He is patient.  He is kind.  He is tender towards us and our needs.  He loves us.  Life doesn't always make sense.  Our future doesn't always make sense.  Our friends and family don't always make sense.  God doesn't always make sense.  But He always loves us.  And, when nothing else makes sense, that's what we can cling to throughout life's storms.  God's love is enough for us.

It reminds me of a song by Sara Groves, called "What Do I Know?"  She spends most of the song talking about what she doesn't know, and the uncertainties of life.  But then she says what she does know - that to be absent from this body, is to be present with the LORD.  And that that is very good.  What a comforting thought that is to me!! :)

What Do I Know?

By Sara Groves

I have a friend who just turned eighty-eight
and she just shared with me that she's afraid of dying.
I sit here years from her experience
and try to bring her comfort.
I try to bring her comfort
But what do I know? What do I know?
She grew up singing about the glory land,
and she would testify how Jesus changed her life.
It was easy to have faith when she was thirty-four,
but now her friends are dying, and death is at her door.
And what do I know?  What do I know?

Well, I don't know that there are harps in heaven,
Or the process for earning your wings.
I don't know of bright lights at the ends of tunnels,
Or any of these things.

She lost her husband after sixty years,
and as he slipped away she still had things to say.
Death can be so inconvenient.
You try to live and love.  It comes and interrupts.
And what do I know? What do I know?

Well,I don't know that there are harps in heaven,
Or the process for earning your wings.
And I don't know of bright lights at the ends of tunnels,
Or any of these things.

But I know to be absent from this body is to be present with the Lord,
and from what I know of him, that must be pretty good.
Oh, I know to be absent from this body is to be present with the Lord,
and from what I know of him, that must be very good.

My God shall supply ALL my needs...

I am so completely overwhelmed by God's goodness right now.  Last night I went to Atlanta, for the annual dinner of the "America-Korea Friendship Society".  I was invited by a member of the Berry College Board of Trustees after they heard that I had won a Fulbright scholarship to South Korea.  It was such a wonderful evening.  Everyone I talked to was just so ecstatic for me.  I spoke to several native Koreans who underscored the importance that most Koreans place on learning English and about the American culture, and told me how happy they would be to have me over there.  I heard stories from other Americans who have lived there.  Literally without exception, no one who has had any interaction with South Korea has told me anything negative.  It was just soooo encouraging.  For the first time since I got my acceptance letter, I'm actually excited to go.  Still nervous beyond belief, but God's really starting to convince me that this is where I'm supposed to go, and that He's going to do big things, things beyond my wildest dreams, while I'm over there.

After I got back from the dinner, I talked about graduation plans with my best friend, Rachel.  Also for the first time, I'm starting to look forward to graduation without trepidation.  I no longer view it as simply a relief from studying, but an entry into the scary real world; but rather the close of one chapter in my life and the start of a new one, an incredible one.  Am I still nervous?  Absolutely.  Do I worry about what the future holds?  Without question.  But every day, I am struck more and more by the fact that my God truly shall supply ALL my needs, according to His riches in glory through Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).  What a wonderfully comforting thought.

Something to sing about

Whew!  Wow.  Today's Bible study was intense.  I was reading in 2 Samuel 22, which is David's song of praise.  He sang this both when the LORD delivered him from Saul, and also years later, when the LORD had delivered him from the hands of all his enemies.  Apparently, it was a pretty important song in his life; God must have thought so, too, because 2 Samuel is repeated almost verbatim in Psalm 18.

I started thinking about what kind of a relationship is required for someone to make claims like the ones that David makes of God.  David was completely in love with God...and he knew Him well.  He messed up, he had periods of sin in his life, but the fact remains that the relationship was there, and that David always ended up being pulled back to God and falling at His feet in worship.  David was a man after God's own heart because ultimately, his desire was to please and glorify his Father.

God is a personal God.  I've jotted down a few of the things that He can be for us, according to David's song of praise (this is out of Beth Moore's "Seeking a Heart Like His" Bible study).

• God is my strength when I am weak.
• God is my Rock when I am slipping.
• God is my Deliverer when I am trapped.  
• God is my Fortress when I am crumbling.
• God is my Refuge when I am pursued. 
• God is my Shield when I am exposed.
• God is my LORD when life spins out of control.

Considering the changes that are going on in my life right now, I find the last one especially comforting.  But seriously, if none of those give you something to sing to the LORD about, I don't know what will! :)

David’s Song of Praise

David sang to the LORD the words of this song when the LORD delivered him from the hand of all his enemies and from the hand of Saul. He said:

“The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation.  

He is my stronghold, my refuge and my savior—from violent men you save me.

I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies.

“The waves of death swirled about me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.

The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me.

In my distress I called to the LORD; I called out to my God.

From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came to his ears.

“The earth trembled and quaked, the foundations of the heavens shook;

they trembled because he was angry.  Smoke rose from his nostrils;

consuming fire came from his mouth, burning coals blazed out of it.

He parted the heavens and came down; dark clouds were under his feet.

He mounted the cherubim and flew; he soared on the wings of the wind.

He made darkness his canopy around him—the dark rain clouds of the sky.

Out of the brightness of his presence bolts of lightning blazed forth.

The LORD thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded.

He shot arrows and scattered the enemies, bolts of lightning and routed them.

The valleys of the sea were exposed and the foundations of the earth laid bare

at the rebuke of the LORD, at the blast of breath from his nostrils.

“He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.

He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me.

They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the LORD was my support.

He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.

“The LORD has dealt with me according to my righteousness;

according to the cleanness of my hands he has rewarded me.

For I have kept the ways of the LORD; I have not done evil by turning from my God.

All his laws are before me; I have not turned away from his decrees.

I have been blameless before him and have kept myself from sin.

The LORD has rewarded me according to my righteousness,

according to my cleanness in his sight.

“To the faithful you show yourself faithful, to the blameless you show yourself blameless,

to the pure you show yourself pure, but to the crooked you show yourself shrewd.

You save the humble, but your eyes are on the haughty to bring them low.

You are my lamp, O LORD; the LORD turns my darkness into light.

With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall.

“As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless.

He is a shield for all who take refuge in him.

For who is God besides the LORD? And who is the Rock except our God?

It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.

He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights.

He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

You give me your shield of victory; you stoop down to make me great.

You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn.

“I pursued my enemies and crushed them; I did not turn back till they were destroyed.

I crushed them completely, and they could not rise; they fell beneath my feet.

  You armed me with strength for battle; you made my adversaries bow at my feet.

You made my enemies turn their backs in flight, and I destroyed my foes.

They cried for help, but there was no one to save them—

to the LORD, but he did not answer.

I beat them as fine as the dust of the earth;

I pounded and trampled them like mud in the streets.

“You have delivered me from the attacks of my people;

you have preserved me as the head of nations.

People I did not know are subject to me, and foreigners come cringing to me;

as soon as they hear me, they obey me.

They all lose heart; they come trembling from their strongholds.

“The LORD lives! Praise be to my Rock! Exalted be God, the Rock, my Savior!

He is the God who avenges me, who puts the nations under me,

who sets me free from my enemies. You exalted me above my foes;

from violent men you rescued me.

Therefore I will praise you, O LORD, among the nations;

I will sing praises to your name.  He gives his king great victories;

he shows unfailing kindness to his anointed, to David and his descendants forever.”

We are not an army of one

So, last night was honor's night at college, the night that they celebrate achievements of excellence all over Berry College.  I won several awards, and I've got to admit, I was pretty pleased with myself.  So then this morning I was doing my Bible study, and it came from 2 Samuel 21.  This chapter talks about David's fight to reclaim his throne after his son Absalom tried to steal it from him.  It is also about David's weakness.  Verses 15-22 talk about some of the fights that the Israelites had with the Philistines; but David, the Bible says, was exhausted, and others had to fight his battles for him.

Isn't it true that we always want the glory?  We always want to be the hero, the one that saves the day, the person others admire.  I was guilty of that just last night.  But sometimes, God allows the victory to be wrought through someone else.  He reminds us of our weakness - He teaches us dependency and forces us to receive help.

An interesting thing I noticed here; David still came out victorious.  He did not lose the battle because of his exhaustion.  God will always lead us to victory, but He will lead us His way.  Be careful that you don't miss God's plan because you're expecting Him to work it completely through you.  There's a reason we are called to fellowship.  We need each other.  We have been commanded in the Bible to "bear each other's burdens"  Galatians 6:2).

Time and time again, God describes the body of believers as in a fight, a fierce battle.  What kind of army is one that consists of 1 person?  We have to support each other, hold each other up, protect each other.  Let God bless you through others.  It's far better to be humble and let others help you to victory, than to lose the battle as a result of your stubbornness!

Unfinished business

I had to remind myself today that ALL scripture is God-breathed and useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, or training in righteousness.  The Bible has some pretty rough stories in it.  I was reading today in 2 Samuel 21 about when God sent the famine to Israel because of Saul's disobedience.  The Israelites had entered into a covenant of peace with the Gibeonites, but during Saul's reign he tried to annihilate them, and so God sent a 3-year famine to the land of Israel.  David inquired of the Lord, and God told him why there was a famine, and so David asked the Gibeonites what they wanted to repay for the wrong that Saul had done to them, so that God would once again bless the land.  They asked for - and received - 7 of Saul's male descendants, so that they could kill them and expose their bodies in recompense for their people who had been slain by Saul.

The story literally sickened me.  So much violence and bloodshed.  It's true that the Gibeonites had not done anything to warrant Saul's sword, but neither had those poor seven men.  But the Israelites had unfinished business to settle.  A covenant had been made between them, and God expected them to honor it.  God does not takes promises lightly.  Ecclesiastes 5:5-6 says that "it is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it...do not protest, 'My vow was a mistake.'"  The Israelites had been tricked into making a vow of peace with the Gibeonites - that vow should never have been made.
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But once it was made, God expected it to be honored.  How many promises have we broken on the premise that it was a mistake to make the vow in the first place?  God doesn't like unfinished business.  Until we right the covenants we have broken, there will not be peace in our lives.  But, luckily for us, He is a God of mercy, and when we truly repent, He forgives.  I challenge you today to seek restoration for any unfinished business or broken promises you may have in your life today.

Something to shout about

Time doesn't stop.  Time doesn't slow down.  Don't you wish sometimes that it would?  Or, better yet, that it would go backwards?  How many mistakes have we made that we wish we could undo?  Have you ever wanted to freeze a moment that's simply so perfect that just the thought of it ending is painful?  Do you ever feel like life is spinning out of control, and you can't keep up with it?

That's how I feel right now.  I'm graduating from college in 25 days - when did THAT happen??  I'm looking for jobs, taking exit exams, trying to stay motivated in my classes.  I'll be going to live on the other side of the world in just a few short months.  In my mind, I'm still a little high school kid, with no bigger worries than what she's going to wear tomorrow.  It's scary and overwhelming being in the "real world".  But God is always there for me, encouraging me and lighting up my sky (see my post from yesterday).  Joshua 1:9 says, "Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."  It's exhausting being in the real world; but in my weakness, He is strong (2 Corinthians 12:9).  Isaiah 40:29-31 says that "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

God is so good.  When our world seems to be spinning out of control, we can take comfort in the fact that He's there with us.  He will give us strength, peace, comfort, and direction.  I don't know about you, but to me, that's something that I want to shout about :).

Light up the Sky

There's this song I've been listening to alot lately, called "Light up the Sky" by The Afters.  It reminds me of Exodus 13:21, when the Bible describes how the Lord went before the Israelites in a pillar of smoke by day, and a pillar of fire by night.  It's so comforting to know that He is always there with me.  When I am unsure of where to go, or what decisions to make, I can find peace in the fact that He will always look out for me.  Have you ever received an unexpected note of encouragement from a friend, or heard a great song that you haven't heard in a while, or read a Bible verse that just seemed like it was written for you?  That is God lighting up your sky for you.  He is always with you...but sometimes the sky is particularly brilliant.  God is lighting up my sky right now; I know without a doubt that He is with me.  I have seen His hand, felt His presence, and understood His heart more in these last few weeks than I have in a long time.  And it's a beautiful thing.  I pray, my dear friends, that God will light up your skies for you, and that you would know that you know that He is with you.  God is so good.

Light up the Sky

By The Afters

The signs are nowhere on this road guiding me home
When the night is closing in
It’s falling on my skin
Oh God will You come close

Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
I, I, I can’t deny
Oh I can’t deny that You are right here with me
You’ve opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me

When stars are hiding in the clouds
I don’t feel them shining
When I can’t see beyond my doubt
The silver lining
When I’ve almost reached the end
Like a flood You’re rushing in
Love is rushing in

Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
I, I, I can’t deny
Oh I can’t deny that You are right here with me
You’ve opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me

So I run straight to Your arms
You’re the bright and morning Sun
To show Your love, there’s nothing You won’t do

Light, light, light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me You are with me
I, I, I can’t deny
Oh I can’t deny that You are right here with me
You’ve opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me

There is freedom in forgiveness

Anyone who thinks the Bible is boring or dry has never really read it.  2 Samuel 13-15 has lust, rape, deception, murder, anger, conspiracy...all the elements of a modern-day drama.  Chapter 13 starts out with the story of how Amnon lusted after his sister Tamar, and eventually raped her.  But the story doesn't end there.  We go on to read about how anger and bitterness fermented in Absalom's heart (Amnon's brother), and he eventually murdered Amnon because of what he had done to Tamar.  Because of this, he was banished from the kingdom, but David eventually called him back, although it was years before David actually allowed Absalom to see him.  After all of that, Absalom's bitterness had nearly consumed him, and he spent several years carefully plotting a revolution against his father, which was nearly successful. 

There is a lesson to be learned from all of this.  This is a first-hand witness to just how destructive bitterness and anger are.  The Bible says that Absalom spent 2 years waiting for David to punish Amnon for his crime against Tamar before he took matters into his own hands and murdered him; three years in exile after the murder; 2 years in Jerusalem waiting for David to allow him into his presence; and 4 years working out his plan of revolution against his father - 11 years total.  Eleven years.  Absalom lost eleven years - and eventually his very life - to bitterness and anger.

Bitterness is a cancer.  It will eat away at you, until there is absolutely nothing left; just an empty shell of what used to be.  My childhood was wracked by enough bitterness and anger for me to be able to say that I am a living witness to this fact.  For years I held onto my anger, stubbornly refusing to forgive those who "didn't deserve" to be forgiven.  But you wanna know a secret?  Most people against whom you harbor anger don't even realize you're mad at them.  They just go on their merry lives, while you rot away in bitterness, naively thinking that you're in some way punishing them for their sins.  But there is freedom in God.  Give your pain over to Him.  He will heal you and bring to judgment those who have wronged you.  Don't be like Absalom, who lost his happiness, the love of those closest to him, and eventually his very life because he refused to forgive, but rather insisted on holding onto his bitterness. 

Count your blessings

Genesis 45 is such a beautiful story of reconciliation.  It recounts the tale of when Joseph finally reveals to his brothers who he is, and they in turn tell their father that Joseph is still alive.  But verse 27 especially gets to me.  It says, "But when they told him everything Joseph had said to them, and when he saw the carts Joseph had sent to carry him back, the spirit of their father Jacob revived."  I know that material things are not all that matters.  But I think there is power in counting your blessings.  The Bible says that when Jacob saw God's blessing...his spirit revived.  After reading this, I sat down and started thinking about all of the things and people that God has blessed me with.  The list was extensive. 

Do you want to see a spiritual revival in your life, your family, your town, your country?  Start counting your blessings.  But wait, you say, blessings are physical, and a revival is spiritual!  What do they have to do with each other?  Well...it's in the Bible.  Jacob saw the carts, and his spirit revived.  But really, it makes sense.  God wants to and does bless us, far more than we could ever deserve.  But so often we convince ourselves that our blessings are a result of our own talent, success, ambition, drive, whatever.  And so we stay stuck in our own pride and selfish ambitions.  The sooner we realize that every good thing comes to us from God - and that we indeed, have been blessed with many good things - the easier it will be to fall before Him in worship and love and humility.  I've been counting my blessings all afternoon....and I'm still counting.  Really, it's hard to be distant from God once you realize just how much He's blessed you.  And once you realize how much He loves you, the most natural thing in the world will be to draw closer to Him - in other words, once you see His blessings in your life, your spirit, too, will be revived, just as Jacob's was.  

As close as a prayer

My Bible study today was in 2 Samuel 15, where David flees from Absalom to the Mount of Olives.  When he left the palace, David feared for his life (vs. 14)...I have a hard time believing that this is the same person who killed Goliath, the same person that God faithfully protected before and after he became King?  But when he got to the Mount of Olives, a beautiful thing happened.  He began to pray (vs. 31), and things began to happen.  The Mount of Olives is the same place that Jesus went to, many years later, just before he died.  Because of Jesus, we no longer have to climb a mountain to find God - He's right here with us.  My Bible study put it this way: "You don't have to climb a mountain to find strength to fulfill your God-given calling.  He's as close as a whisper.  He's as close as a prayer."

I've really been struggling with the thought of going to South Korea.  Quite frankly, it terrifies me.  I don't speak the language.  It's on the other side of the world.  I've never taught an ESL course by myself.  And I'll be there an entire year.  It's petrifying.  And, as much as many of my well-meaning friends try to help, constantly hearing "oh don't worry, you'll be fine, this is exciting!" does not help.  So those words in my Bible study really touched me today.  I may be doing something very scary, but I don't have to feel alone.  God is not a mountain away - He's only a prayer away.  Mountains may be hard to climb....but a prayer?  A prayer I can handle.  I'm still scared, but I have faith that, in time, God will give me His peace.  And I know that He will always be with me.  What a great piece of knowledge that is to have!!

Seek Him early

Yesterday I did not write a blog post.  I was really upset about this at first, but then God gently reminded me that what He desires is a relationship, not rules.  I have to be careful that I don't write this every day just to say that I'm writing it every day, but rather because I'm really listening to what God wants to teach me every day.

So anyway, I was coming back from a Swing dance on campus, and saw a friend of mine sitting by himself, looking rather forlorn.  So I stopped and asked him if he was ok.  He said he was ok, and I almost left it at that.  Two months ago I know I would have done just that.  But something told my spirit to stay and talk with him and pray with him.  Several weeks ago I heard someone talking about an atheist friend of theirs, who said that one of their biggest issues with Christianity is that they don't act like they believe what they preach.  "You say you'll pray for people, but then you never do!  If prayer is so powerful, why don't you just pray for them right there??"  So I asked him if I could pray for him, and I'm so glad I did.  Gosh, lifting up and encouraging each other is so important!!  Not just to the one who is suffering, but to both sides.  We hung out until an ungodly late hour...but I'm so glad we did.  One thing that he said to me really impacted me.  He said, "Grades are important because we've been commanded to do everything with excellence (1 Corinthians 10:31), but when it really gets down to it, grades are not what matters.  People matter."  I'm starting to realize just how right he is...for someone who went into this semester thinking that she really wouldn't invest in anyone this semester because there was no point in doing so, since I'd be graduating in three months, that's really a very drastic change of opinion.

But anyway, I finally got to bed and then got up today and started my day.  And man, how I've missed God.  I didn't write yesterday because I didn't make time to spend with Him all day, and then today I was also really busy.  So it's been like over 2 days since I've spent real, one-on-one time with Him.  And I'm dying.  God has given me a taste of Who He is, and now that I've tasted Him (Psalm 34:8), I don't want to go a day without Him.  That's why God asks us to give him our firstfruits...which includes our time (Proverbs 3:9).  He wants our best, and when we wait to give Him our offering until everything else has been handled, it will certainly not be our best and, like with me these past few days, it might not be given at all.  Don't stiff God.  It's not worth it.  The only reason He asks for your best is so that He can give you HIS best!  I'm pretty sure that's a trade that all of us would benefit from making.

Psalm 63

 ¹ You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land where there is no water.

 ² I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory.
³ Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.
⁴ I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands.
⁵ I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

 ⁶ On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night.
⁷ Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.
⁸ I cling to you; your right hand upholds me.

 ⁹ Those who want to kill me will be destroyed; they will go down to the depths of the earth.
¹⁰ They will be given over to the sword and become food for jackals.

 ¹¹ But the king will rejoice in God; all who swear by God will glory in him,
   while the mouths of liars will be silenced.

The name game

Goodness gracious, I'm so glad that God is bigger than I am.  Ever since I heard about my Fulbright scholarship, things seem to have been spinning out of control.  I've got to get a full medical examination and other forms to them within the next few weeks; I've got like 3 awards ceremonies to attend in the next week; the campus publicity office wants to do an article on me, and so they're trying to set up a time for an interview and a photo shoot; I've got another round of tests coming up, plus final presentations in almost every class; graduation rehearsal; certification exams; work; class; church; yada, yada, yada....  I feel like I've barely had time to breathe - and when I do breathe, it's only shallowly.

It's easy to get overwhelmed.  In fact, it's hard not to get overwhelmed.  So I thought that today I would write about some of the names of God that exemplify who He is and show us His character.  Studying God's names has always been one of my favorite Biblical topics, and always leaves me feeling reasted and peaceful.  I trust that God will not let me down this time :).

El Shaddai: God Almighty or the All-Sufficient One (Genesis 17:1). He is the Author of all good things; without Him what can we do?? But with Him, who can stand against us?? It's so easy to say, but so much more difficult to really believe.  Do we really believe that God is truly all we need? I know that I often have trouble believing that....

Our Shepherd: Psalm 23. The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
One of my favorite chapters in the entire Bible!! There is sooo much to this chapter! Ohhh, I pray that I will always remember that He will always bring me to the safety of green pastures, even when I don't want to go and He must "make" me.

Jevovah Jireh: the Lord will Provide. I have a banner over my bed with these words on it. It serves as a constant reminder to put my trust where it belongs. "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?" (Luke 12:25-26) Oh, how He wants to lavish His love on us!!! I have experienced such an overwhelming downpour of His favor this past week that it is difficult to digest. And, I can be content in the knowledge that it is not a dream; my Daddy really does love me that much; just like he extravagantly loves all His children.

Jevovah-Rophe: the Lord who Heals (Exodus 15:22-26). He is the great physician. And the great thing about this Healer is that He is not limited to healing our bodies. Bodies are not the only things that break in this life. Hearts can be shattered, souls can become embittered, and minds worn down. And our Lord, our Adonai, our Master, our Daddy, can heal them all.

Jehovah-Shalom: the Lord our Peace (Judges 6:24). He is our peace! He is MY peace. If my world seems to be going crazy and falling apart, I know that I can lean on the Creator of the world! He is the Master Weaver; when we know that He holds the threads of our life, we can rest in the knowledge that He is creating a beautiful tapestry.

Jehovah-Shammah: the Lord is There (Ezekiel 48:35). That name warrants repeating. He is THERE! When you feel lonely, or scared, or unnoticed....He sees you; He sees me! And He's CRAZY about you!  He will never leave us, nor forsake us. I am reminded of the poem "Footprints". It speaks of a man who dreamed of his life one night, seeing two sets of footprints (his and God's) walking through most of the scenes of his life. But through the most difficult times of his life, there was only one set of footprints. He asked God why God would leave him when things got tough, and this is what God said, "My, son, my precious child, I love you and would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you have seen only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

I thank God that He is a God of many names, and that all of them minister to me in different ways, so that I am made whole.  It gives me chills just thinking about it :).

Peace He leaves with us...

Today has been such a whirlwind of emotion.  I don't quite know how to start this blog.  I found out today that I got a Fulbright Scholarship, which pays for a year of teaching English abroad.  My Fulbright is in - you ready? - South Korea.  My emotions have been doing somersaults ever since I opened the letter.  Deep down, I was secretly hoping that I wouldn't get it - I love the GA Tech program, I love Atlanta, I love the dance scene in Atlanta, and I was really looking forward to starting to settle down a little bit.  I'm so tired of living out of suitcases and boxes.  Not only does a Fulbright extend the time I have to wait until I can settle down; but the thought of living for a year in South Korea, teaching English in a country where I do not speak a single word of their language - nor any related language, for that matter - terrifies me.  I'm flat out petrified.

Before I opened that letter, I would have said that I had been praying that God would open this door if He wanted me to take it, and so either way I would just leave it in His hands.  But now that I've gotten it, I'm starting to second-guess myself...did I really pray hard enough?  Maybe I'm not really meant to go.  Why would God send me somewhere that I don't understand the language, the culture, or anything else?  Why should I willingly do something so daggone hard??

I've spoken with several people very close to me since I opened that letter.  The first thing my dad said was, "Well this thing's way bigger than you are...it sure sounds like a God thing to me."  Both my brother and my best friend reminded me that I've been scared about pretty much every other opportunity I've had in my life - and they've all been wonderful.  I argued with them that I've never been quite so terrified as I am now...and I've always spoken the language of the country I went to!  But really, when it gets down to it, isn't that really a bit of a nuance?  The crux of the matter is that God loves me, and directs my path, and will look out for me, no matter what situation He throws me in.

It's days like today that I am so grateful for verses like John 14:27, which says, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."  Second Thessalonians 3:16 - "Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you."  Colossians 3:15 - "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful."  Philippians 4:7 - "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Numbers 6:25-26 - "The LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace."

God knows the plans He has for my life.  He has prospered me, He has given me a hope and a future.  As scary as life is right now, I want to trust in Him.  I want His peace.  I want to rest in the shadow of His wings.  God is good, and He loves me more than I will ever be able to comprehend.  For now, amidst the craziness and insanity swirling all around me, that is enough.  His love, His mercy and His peace is enough - enough to protect me and enough to sustain me.  I pray that I will never forget that.  

Dancing on broken legs

Wow.  Psalm 51 is an amazing Psalm.  I've just been reading about David's zenith and plummet, and now I get to see his reaction to the whole thing, after Nathan the prophet confronted him about his sin with Bathsheba.  David is so full of repentance and sorrow that he does not even take the time to write an introduction of any sort; he just jumps right into the meat of the Psalm, begging for God's forgiveness and mercy.  Boy, do I know what David felt like.  How often do we feel like God has "crushed our bones" (verse 8)?  Sinning - and then repenting - is painful.  Sometimes we really don't want to learn, and God has to finally allow our legs to be figuratively crushed so that we will stop going down that path.  But the cool thing is, we can see from this Psalm that that's really what's best for us!  It is only when we have finally repented that we can hear joy and gladness (verse 8), have the joy of our salvation restored (verse 12), and declare His righteousness and praise (verses 14, 15).  I praise God that He truly does "turn our mourning into dancing" (Psalm 30:11).  When we have finally been brought to a place of repentance in the midst of our deep sin, it is then that God restores us.  It is then that He gives us the ability to dance on our broken legs :).

Psalm 51
For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him
after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.

 ¹ Have mercy on me, O God,
   according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
   blot out my transgressions.
² Wash away all my iniquity
   and cleanse me from my sin.

 ³ For I know my transgressions,
   and my sin is always before me.
⁴ Against you, you only, have I sinned
   and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
   and justified when you judge.
⁵ Surely I was sinful at birth,
   sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
⁶ Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
   you taught me wisdom in that secret place.

 ⁷ Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
   wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
⁸ Let me hear joy and gladness;
   let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
⁹ Hide your face from my sins
   and blot out all my iniquity.

 ¹⁰ Create in me a pure heart, O God,
   and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
¹¹ Do not cast me from your presence
   or take your Holy Spirit from me.
¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation
   and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

 ¹³ Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
   so that sinners will turn back to you.
¹⁴ Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
   you who are God my Savior,
   and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
¹⁵ Open my lips, Lord,
   and my mouth will declare your praise.
¹⁶ You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
   you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
¹⁷ My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
   a broken and contrite heart
   you, God, will not despise.

 ¹⁸ May it please you to prosper Zion,
   to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
¹⁹ Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
   in burnt offerings offered whole;
   then bulls will be offered on your altar.

The strength to lift our hands

We were made for community.  And that does not simply mean that we like talking with people and being around them....we need people, especially as Christians.  We can't do everything on our own.  In Exodus 17:8-13, we find the story of the Israelites fighting the Amalekites.  As long as Moses' arms were raised, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his arms, the Amalekites started winning.  So Aaron and Hur put a stone under Moses for him to sit on, and stood on each side of him, keeping his arms up for him.  Another beautiful example of this principle can be found in Mark 2:1-12, when the lame man's friends tore a hole in the roof and lowered him through it to get him to Jesus, so that Jesus would heal him.

We are not alone.  At least, we shouldn't be.  God wants us to spend time with each other, and love each other, and confess our sins to each other, and pray for each other.  We cannot always win our battles on our own - in fact, we shouldn't try.  We are in a deadly place when we try to live a victorious life alone.  Just imagine what would have happened to the Israelites if Moses had refused the help of Aaron and Hur, or what would have happened to the lame man if his pride had not allowed his friends to take him to Jesus.

I know I've said this before, but it's truly amazing to me how much happier I am now that I'm finally grasping this principle.  When I start my day off with a determination to be real with people, people seem to come out of the woodwork.  Today in church I had four separate people whom I had never spoken with before come up to me and talk to me, ask me how my week was, see if there was anything they could pray for me about, etc....and I did the same with others.  In a way, the best part of this is that nothing physical in my life has really changed.  My dad's still super stressed with work.  My best friends are still far away from me.  I have still recently unexpectedly lost a friendship with a dear friend, most likely for forever.  I'm still living in a single, without any people to keep me company.  I still long to be married.  I'm still dying to graduate.  I'm still intimidated by the future.  But those things don't overwhelm me anymore.

We can only "bear each others' burdens" (Galatians 6:2) if we let others in.  Let them in.  Don't try to make it through life alone.  We are called to live a victorious life, not one in which the trials of life overwhelm us.  I pray that God will send us people who will help us have the strength to lift our arms to the LORD most high, as He did with Moses.  God is so, so good.  Don't let the devil win...God never meant for us to suffer alone!!

Cracked pots and gorilla-glue sealant

It's so comforting to know that God always loves me.  I was reading in the second half of 2 Samuel 12 today, about the consequences of David's sin with Bathsheba.  They had a child together, but because of David's sin, the LORD struck the child down and he died.  Truly tragic consequences, but not entirely unexpected, considering the great distance that David had wandered away from God.

But the beautiful thing to me is what happened next.  The Bible says that David fasted and wept for his son, begging God to save him, but that after the child died, he pulled himself together and worshiped God (verse 20).  David had sinned terribly, he had departed farther from God's presence than he probably ever thought possible.  But deep down, He still knew and respected God's sovereignty - even though it took a tragedy for him to return to a place of submission - and, better yet, God still loved him.

How often do we beat ourselves up for past sins?  We let the devil convince us that we are not worth anything because of the mistakes we've made in the past, and that God could never use us again.  But, beloved, God can ALWAYS use us!  After David repented of his sin with Bathsheba, he had another child with her...guess who this one was?  Solomon, one of the most famous kings of Israel, blessed with supernatural wisdom, and "loved by the LORD" (verse 25).

I love seeing God's grace, God's mercy, God's loving kindness in real life.  We are not judged by our past.  Our value is not found in our history.  His mercies are "new every morning" (Lamentations 3:22-23).  We are not called to wallow in our past sins, but to worship Him for His current love and mercy.  So often we see ourselves like cracked clay pots - to our estimation, we're no longer useful to God.  But God is the best sealant in the world, and He is longing to make us whole again.  Let Him make you whole.  When tragedy strikes, run to Him and let Him comfort you.  It's the only thing that will fully heal your aching heart.

Be the friend you want to have

I think I've hit upon why I was so lonely at the start of this semester.  I went into this semester with the mindset that I wasn't going to invest in any new friends; with just 3 months left at school, it just wasn't worth the investment.  Well, most of my old friends are no longer at Berry, and those who remain are very busy and I rarely see them.  But, when you combine a lack of old friends with an unwillingness to invest in new ones, it's hard to predict any result other than loneliness.  Combine that with the fact that I had not been getting to know God like I should have been, and it was a very solitary few months, indeed.

But to have friends, you must be a friend.  You have to be willing to spend time with people, to stay up late talking with them, to pray for them, to send them encouraging messages, whatever the case may be.  These past few weeks (since I've started really seeking God, actually), I've become closer to people I never would have expected would have ever entered my life.  They were people that I knew, but I knew them on a first-name basis only, and rarely if ever talked to them.  But I started seeking God, and asking Him to put godly people in my life, and here they came out of nowhere....and it's been such a wild, incredible ride!

Last night I was up until almost 2:00 am talking to a new friend of mine who has already become quite dear to me.  Today I spent the afternoon in Atlanta with two others whom I have known for a while, but have only recently began to really get to know.  And I am so grateful to God for blessing me with these wonderful people.  Matthew 21:22 says, "ask, and you shall receive."  Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says, "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work.  If one falls down, his friend can help him up.  But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!  Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.  But how can one keep warm alone?  Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.  A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."  Proverbs 27:6 - Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. 

Who are you?

Apparently I'm on an "identity" kick.  I was thinking this morning about who I was - my strengths, weaknesses, and talents - and how that relates to my life - my past, present, and my future.  This is not meant to brag - in fact just the opposite - but very often people makes comments basically saying how wonderful I am.  I hate those comments.  If they only knew the insecurities I felt every day.  It's very overwhelming to think about the expectations that people have for me...they think I'm some kind of superwoman, but I know the truth.  I am flawed, imperfect, and nowhere near amazing.  But I find rest in the fact that God knows me, every part of me - even better than I know myself - and He loves me anyway.  Check out Psalm 139 - God is so good!

¹ You have searched me, LORD, 

   and you know me. 

² You know when I sit and when I rise; 

   you perceive my thoughts from afar. 

³ You discern my going out and my lying down; 

   you are familiar with all my ways. 

⁴ Before a word is on my tongue 

   you, LORD, know it completely. 

⁵ You hem me in behind and before, 

   and you lay your hand upon me. 

⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, 

   too lofty for me to attain.

 ⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit? 

   Where can I flee from your presence? 

⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there; 

   if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 

⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn, 

   if I settle on the far side of the sea, 

¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me, 

   your right hand will hold me fast. 

¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me 

   and the light become night around me,” 

¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you; 

   the night will shine like the day, 

   for darkness is as light to you.

 ¹³ For you created my inmost being; 

   you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 

¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 

   your works are wonderful, 

   I know that full well. 

¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you 

   when I was made in the secret place, 

   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 

¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body; 

   all the days ordained for me were written in your book 

   before one of them came to be. 

¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts,^[a] God! 

   How vast is the sum of them! 

¹⁸ Were I to count them, 

   they would outnumber the grains of sand— 

   when I awake, I am still with you.

 ¹⁹ If only you, God, would slay the wicked! 

   Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty! 

²⁰ They speak of you with evil intent; 

   your adversaries misuse your name. 

²¹ Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD, 

   and abhor those who are in rebellion against you? 

²² I have nothing but hatred for them; 

   I count them my enemies. 

²³ Search me, God, and know my heart; 

   test me and know my anxious thoughts. 

²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me, 

   and lead me in the way everlasting.