Undivided attention

One of my biggest pet peeves is when my friends text or call other people while we are together.  If it's an emergency, that's an entirely different matter.  But if we are together, and you choose to talk to another friend who isn't even present, I find it highly offensive.  It makes me feel unvalued, unloved, and un-interesting.  Because I hate it so much, I try very hard to not subject my own friends to such feelings of neglect.  And most of the time, I think I do a pretty good job of paying attention to the people with whom I am currently spending time.

But I was hit with the painful realization today, that the one person in the world with whom I consistently do not succeed in that endeavor...is God.  I habitually do my Bible study while sitting in front of the computer, ostensibly so that I can easily look up Biblical cross-references.  But today I realized that it is more of a hindrance than a help.  Rather than looking up verses to aid me in my study of God's word, I so often get distracted by friendly people IMing or messaging me.  And, rather than ignoring them and focusing on my time with the Lord, I almost always reply to them.

What if God feels the same way about that that I do?  The Bible says that our God is a jealous God - He cannot like that I make Him share our special time together with other friends.  The thought of making God feel unvalued, unloved, and un-interesting nearly breaks my heart.  Especially when my IM conversations are almost never anything of real substance.  That's ridiculous.  This is the creator of the universe we're talking about here.  He deserves more than that.

In the end, is IMing friends during your quiet time really any better than idolatry?  We have put our relationships with friends on a pedestal of equal importance as our relationship with the Lord.  But God loves us so much that He is not willing to share us.  Do you love Him enough that you are willing to give Him your undivided attention?

Exodus 34:12-17

¹² Be careful not to make a treaty with those who live in the land where you are going, or they will be a snare among you. ¹³ Break down their altars, smash their sacred stones and cut down their Asherah poles.^[a] 14 Do not worship any other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.

 ¹⁵ “Be careful not to make a treaty with those who live in the land; for when they prostitute themselves to their gods and sacrifice to them, they will invite you and you will eat their sacrifices. ¹⁶ And when you choose some of their daughters as wives for your sons and those daughters prostitute themselves to their gods, they will lead your sons to do the same.

 ¹⁷ “Do not make any idols.

Our price

"Come undone, surrender is stronger.  I don't need to be the hero tonight.  We all want love, we all want honor, but nobody wants to pay the asking price."

These lyrics from FFH's "Undone" struck me this morning as I was listening to the radio, getting ready for the day.  I don't often think about the price of what God has done for us, so I decided to go to Matthew and see just what God, in His great love, did for us.

Jesus did not just die for us.  He was beaten, bruised, and tortured for us.  He suffered through one of the most agonizing deaths ever conceived by men.  He was mocked and ridiculed, even up to His last few breathes on earth.  And through it all, He never cursed His accusers, never hated the people who hated Him.  The only time He came even close to bitterness or anger was when He felt that God had turned His back on Him.

That is the price that was paid for us.  And that is the price that is asked of us, too.  Jesus says that we must daily "take up our cross and follow Him."  But the difference here, is that no matter how long we bear our cross, God will never turn His back on us.  When we think of what He did for us, of the price that He paid for us, of His all-consuming love that caused Him to willingly submit to such a death....how could we ever give Him less?

Matthew 27:27-53

²⁷ Then the governor’s soldiers took Jesus into the Praetorium and gathered the whole company of soldiers around him. ²⁸ They stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, ²⁹ and then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on his head. They put a staff in his right hand. Then they knelt in front of him and mocked him. “Hail, king of the Jews!” they said. ³⁰ They spit on him, and took the staff and struck him on the head again and again. ³¹ After they had mocked him, they took off the robe and put his own clothes on him. Then they led him away to crucify him.

The Crucifixion of Jesus

 ³² As they were going out, they met a man from Cyrene, named Simon, and they forced him to carry the cross. ³³ They came to a place called Golgotha (which means “the place of the skull”). ³⁴ There they offered Jesus wine to drink, mixed with gall; but after tasting it, he refused to drink it. ³⁵ When they had crucified him, they divided up his clothes by casting lots. ³⁶ And sitting down, they kept watch over him there. ³⁷ Above his head they placed the written charge against him: THIS IS JESUS, THE KING OF THE JEWS.

 ³⁸ Two rebels were crucified with him, one on his right and one on his left. ³⁹Those who passed by hurled insults at him, shaking their heads ⁴⁰ and saying, “You who are going to destroy the temple and build it in three days, save yourself! Come down from the cross, if you are the Son of God!” ⁴¹ In the same way the chief priests, the teachers of the law and the elders mocked him. ⁴² “He saved others,” they said, “but he can’t save himself! He’s the king of Israel! Let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him. ⁴³ He trusts in God. Let God rescue him now if he wants him, for he said, ‘I am the Son of God.’” ⁴⁴ In the same way the rebels who were crucified with him also heaped insults on him.

The Death of Jesus

 ⁴⁵ From noon until three in the afternoon darkness came over all the land. ⁴⁶About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lemasabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).

 ⁴⁷ When some of those standing there heard this, they said, “He’s calling Elijah.”

 ⁴⁸ Immediately one of them ran and got a sponge. He filled it with wine vinegar, put it on a staff, and offered it to Jesus to drink. ⁴⁹ The rest said, “Now leave him alone. Let’s see if Elijah comes to save him.”

 ⁵⁰ And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit.

 ⁵¹ At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, the rocks split ⁵² and the tombs broke open. The bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. ⁵³ They came out of the tombs after Jesus’ resurrection and went into the holy city and appeared to many people.

Rend your heart, not your garments

Do you ever feel like everything in the world is against you?  Like, no matter what you do, you'll never get it right?  Like the cosmos knows all of the tricks, has an ace up its sleeve, and that there's no way you could possibly win?

I'm sure you've felt like that before.  We all have.  And so often, we think that what God wants from us is a longer checklist.  That if we go to church more, tithe more, spend more time working at the soup kitchen, He will make our troubles pass.  But God doesn't look at our outward actions.  He doesn't care what our bodies do - He cares what our hearts do.  "Rend your heart, and not your garments," says the Bible.  In layman's terms, this basically means this: get your heart right with the Lord.  He doesn't just want our money, our piety, or our time.  He wants our heart, our soul....our everything.

Being right with the Lord does not guarantee that your life will be perfect.  You will still have troubles and difficulties.  But the beautiful thing about walking with the Lord is that, when He's by your side, your troubles seem so much smaller than they do when you are far apart from Him.  So the next time your troubles are overwhelming you, check your heart.  Are you walking next to Him, following in His footsteps?  Or are you far away?  Have you truly rended your heart, or simply your garments?

Joel 2:12-13

12 "Even now," declares the LORD, "return to me with all your heart, with fasting and mourning."  13 Rend your heart and not your garments.  Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity.

Our calling

One thing that I've always heard singles complain about, one thing that I myself have often complained about, is that no one gets us.  We want to be in a relationship with someone because then someone would get us - they would understand us, they would empathize with us, they would know what makes us tick.

What they don't realize is that that's not a job that any mere mortal should be called upon to fulfill.  No human being could possibly know us completely - our idiosyncrasies, our hopes, our dreams, our flaws.  And that feeling of not being completely understood by someone - and accepted for who you are - is an awful feeling, a gnawing tugging ache that won't leave you alone.

We were not meant to live life feeling alone.  But there is one person and one person alone who can fill our emptiness, who can satisfy that innate desire of ours to be understood.  And that person is God.  The Bible says that He knew who we were even before we were born, that He knows what our lives would be like and who we would be before we were even formed in the womb.

Isn't that amazing?  He not only knows us intimately, inside and out - He created us inside and out.  Every little part of us, every triumph and failure, everything we love about ourselves and everything we hate....He knows them all.  And He loves us anyway.  He has called us anyway.  Our ugly, imperfect, rough vessels...He has a beautiful plan just for us.

Jeremiah 1:4-8

4 The word of the LORD came to me, saying, 5"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."  6"Alas, Sovereign LORD," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am too young."  7But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am too young.'  You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you.  8 Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD.

Valentine's Day

Today is Valentine's Day.  The past few years, my Valentine's Day has gone something like this: I endure weeks of being reminded by the signs and chocolates and flowers in the shop windows of just how single I am, and then sequester myself in my room or somewhere in town with my other single girlfriends on February 14th, trying to ignore all of the romantic stories of what my friends' significant others did for their Valentine.  It is wearisome, it is tiring, and it is lonely.  America is not a good place to be an insecure single on February 14th.

But this year, I thought, it would be different.  Koreans don't really celebrate Valentine's Day, so aside from a few random signs scattered across the city, and the plans of my American plans who simply cannot live without celebrating the big day, even from the other side of the world, I have not really been reminded at all that Valentine's Day was even coming.  I had hoped that it would come and go, sliding by without even being noticed, without even entering my consciousness.

But that is not, in the end, what actually happened.  I woke up this morning with the first thought in my mind being that today is February 14th - the day that couples celebrate their love.  But it was not accompanied with the usual feelings of loneliness and isolation.  Instead, this year, I realized just how many valentines I have in my life.  If a "valentine" is someone whom you care for and want to show your affection to, then I am truly blessed, indeed.  I have so many people in my for whom I would do almost anything - and who I know would do the same for me.

Without even meaning to, I found myself this morning reflecting on how grateful I am to be single.  I don't have to stress about buying that "perfect gift."  I don't have to take time out of my hectic class and work schedule to do something special with my boyfriend.  I have time to spend the day reflecting on and showing my appreciation for the friends that I love, rather than ignoring them for the boy that I love.

I know that this may all sound rather selfish.  But that is not the point.  When one day I eventually enter into a relationship, I have no doubt that I will willingly pour myself out to do things for him.  But the point is this: right now, while I am not in a relationship, I am just as capable of being happy and complete as I would be with a boyfriend or a fiance or a husband.  Don't let your relationship status define who you are.  Stop asking God to send you "the one," and start asking Him to make you "the one" - the kind of person whom your future spouse would want to be with.

Trust in the Lord, trust in His timing, trust in His plan.  The Bible says that those who do that will be like a tree planted by water, whose leaves are green even through searing heat.  I don't know about you, but to me, that says that people who put their faith in God will bloom and prosper, no matter what happens to them.  That's a Valentine's Day gift worth bragging about.  So this February 14th, write God a love letter.  He is the true lover of your soul - and He will always have something wonderful for you.  You don't even have to wait until February to receive it :).

Jeremiah 17:7-8

⁷ “But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, 

   whose confidence is in him. 

⁸ They will be like a tree planted by the water 

   that sends out its roots by the stream. 

It does not fear when heat comes; 

   its leaves are always green. 

It has no worries in a year of drought 

   and never fails to bear fruit.”

Breaking good habits

I'm back!  After 2 weeks of silence due to traveling around southeast Asia, and another week after that for recuperating, I am getting back into the swing of things.  I realized something really important during my writing interim....it's so easy to break good habits.  I had spent nearly 300 sequential days consistently reading my Bible, writing, and praying.  And then, after 2 weeks of silence, I hardly even thought about it.  I've had to force myself to sit down and read the Word.  It's been a struggle almost as fierce as what I experienced when I first started this journey of mine.

I understand now why the Lord has told us to be diligent in waiting for Him.  It's so easy to convince yourself that you can let your guard now, that you can slack off.  We tell ourselves, "It's just today - I'll read my Bible and pray again tomorrow.  Today I'm just too tired; I don't have time."  But then we make the same excuse tomorrow.  And the next day.  And the day after that.  And before you know it, months have gone by without you ever cracking your Bible or even saying hello to the One who made you.

I've always thought that the Master (Jesus) in Luke 12 asked for quite a lot out of His servants.  He went off for an indefinite amount of time, and his servants were expected to constantly be ready for him, just waiting for his return.  They had no idea when he would come back, so they had to live every day as if he was coming that day.  Have you ever thought about how tiring that must have been?  To live in a constant state of readiness and limbo, never knowing if your preparations would pay off that day or be postponed yet again.  It must have been exhausting and taxing.

But the reward that the master gives is more than we could ever imagine.  The story in Luke 12 goes on to say that, for those servants who waited for their master with expectation, the master will come back and serve them.  Can you imagine?  A master, dressed in simple clothing, sitting at his servants' feet and serving them.  It is unthinkable.  But it is true.  God asks for diligence from us for a few years; in return, He will give us rewards for eternity.  So be faithful to Him.  Don't break your good habits.  Expect Him every day...because one of these days, He will come back for you - or you will go to Him.  Make sure that you are ready for that day.

Luke 12:35-48

³⁵ “Be dressed ready for service and keep your lamps burning, ³⁶ like servants waiting for their master to return from a wedding banquet, so that when he comes and knocks they can immediately open the door for him. ³⁷ It will be good for those servants whose master finds them watching when he comes. Truly I tell you, he will dress himself to serve, will have them recline at the table and will come and wait on them. ³⁸ It will be good for those servants whose master finds them ready, even if he comes in the middle of the night or toward daybreak. ³⁹ But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what hour the thief was coming, he would not have let his house be broken into. ⁴⁰ You also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.”

 ⁴¹ Peter asked, “Lord, are you telling this parable to us, or to everyone?”

 ⁴² The Lord answered, “Who then is the faithful and wise manager, whom the master puts in charge of his servants to give them their food allowance at the proper time? ⁴³ It will be good for that servant whom the master finds doing so when he returns. ⁴⁴ Truly I tell you, he will put him in charge of all his possessions.⁴⁵ But suppose the servant says to himself, ‘My master is taking a long time in coming,’ and he then begins to beat the other servants, both men and women, and to eat and drink and get drunk. ⁴⁶ The master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he is not aware of. He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the unbelievers.

   ⁴⁷ “The servant who knows the master’s will and does not get ready or does not do what the master wants will be beaten with many blows. ⁴⁸ But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.